What’s Limerence, How To Get Out Of Limerence, and What You Should Know
The short answer
Limerence is the state of being “madly in love,” a term Dr. Dorothy Tennov coined in the 1970s after studying people who described themselves that way. Getting out of it starts with learning what limerence is, how it begins and how it ends. If your spouse is in limerence, there are things you can do on your own to positively influence your marriage.
Key takeaways
- Limerence is the name for feeling madly in love, a term Dr. Dorothy Tennov came up with in the 1970s.
- Much of what you find online about limerence just repeats Tennov, but a lot more research has been done since.
- Understanding what limerence is, how it starts, and how it ends is the first step toward helping your marriage.
- Even if your spouse won’t take part, there are things you can do on your own to influence your marriage for the better.
Here at Relationship Radio, we get all kinds of questions related to marriage. The most common questions have to do with limerence. What’s limerence, and how to get out of limerence are two questions we hear often.
What Is Limerence?
A word coined back in the 1970s by Dr. Dorothy Tennov, she studied people who identified themselves as being “madly in love”. If you’re reading this, you may be wondering, “I still don’t really understand limerence. How did this happen?” If you want to know all about this state of being “madly in love” and how limerence ends, we can help.
You can go on the internet and find millions of responses about limerence. And yet, a lot of people talking about limerence are merely quoting Tennov. While her brilliant mind opened many doors for the topic of limerence, there’s been a lot more research done since then. Here at Marriage Helper, we’ve seen many situations where limerence is involved. In the last 32 years, we have worked with couple after couple where at least one spouse is involved in a limerent relationship with another person.
If your spouse says, “I’m in love with someone else”, is that a valid kind of love? Is it what people call true love? Does it mean your marriage is over? Or is it this thing that we call limerence?
When it comes to limerence, it is important to learn what exactly limerence is, how it begins, and how to end limerence in order to help you save your relationship. There are things you can do right now to help your situation so that you can positively impact your marriage.
In this episode of Relationship Radio, Dr. Joe Beam and Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes will teach you all you need to know about Limerence.
How To Overcome Limerence
If you believe that there’s no way your relationship can be saved, we want to provide you with hope. We have seen thousands of marriages saved that seemed hopeless. Anything is possible. We want to help you in any way we can, which is why we offer a 3-day Workshop for couples in crisis, offered both in-person and online. If you’re thinking, “There’s no way my spouse would do that”, we have ways you can start positively influencing your marriage on your own. We have the Save My Marriage Course which is geared towards the spouse who wants to save the marriage. Learn what you can do right now to help your relationship, while also help yourself along the way.
To watch the video of this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel.
Common questions
Does limerence mean my marriage is over?
No, not necessarily. Marriage Helper has worked with couple after couple where one spouse was in a limerent relationship, and has seen many marriages saved that seemed hopeless.
Is it true love if my spouse says they love someone else?
It may be limerence, the state of feeling madly in love, rather than a sign your marriage is finished. Learning what limerence is, how it starts, and how it ends can help you respond in ways that help your marriage.
What can I do if my spouse won’t work on our marriage?
You can still start influencing your marriage in a positive way on your own. Marriage Helper’s Save My Marriage Course is built for the spouse who wants to save the marriage, and it helps you along the way too.