Left Behind: Coping with Abandonment and Anger in Marriage
The short answer
If your spouse keeps leaving and exploding in anger, start by understanding that anger is based on pain. Dr. Joe recommends professional counseling, using the Emotionally Focused Therapy approach, to address the abandonment and control issues behind the pattern. Where there is physical, intellectual, emotional, or spiritual danger, set boundaries and take steps to stay safe.
Key takeaways
- A spouse who keeps leaving or exploding in anger is often acting out of pain, even if he is wonderful most of the time.
- Dr. Joe recommends professional counseling with an Emotionally Focused Therapy approach to work on the abandonment and control issues behind the pattern.
- If there is physical, intellectual, emotional or spiritual danger, set boundaries and take the steps you need to stay safe.
In this episode, we discuss a heartbreaking situation where a husband has left his wife multiple times, even after the birth of their child and their baby’s stay in the NICU. The wife is in emotional pain and confusion as to why her husband explodes in anger or runs away so much, despite being wonderful about 90% of the time. We delve into the principle that anger is based on pain and explore the possible reasons behind the husband’s behavior. Dr. Joe recommends seeking professional counseling and leveraging the Emotionally Focused Therapy approach to address the husband’s abandonment and control issues. The discussion also touches on setting boundaries and taking necessary steps to ensure safety in cases where there is physical, intellectual, emotional, or spiritual danger. If you or anyone you know is going through a similar situation, this episode may offer some insights and guidance on how to cope with abandonment and anger in a marriage.
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Common questions
Why does my husband explode in anger and then leave?
Anger is based on pain. Even a husband who is wonderful most of the time can explode or run away, and this episode looks at possible reasons behind that behavior, including abandonment and control issues.
What should I do if my husband keeps leaving me?
Get professional help instead of trying to fix it alone. Dr. Joe suggests a counselor who uses Emotionally Focused Therapy, along with boundaries if your safety is at risk.
What if my husband left right after our baby was born?
This episode follows a wife whose husband left several times, even after their baby’s birth and stay in the NICU. It offers insight into why that can happen and how to cope with the abandonment and anger.