If you’re considering divorce and are wanting to know the cons of divorce, here’s a list that might be helpful for you in your decision-making process.
It’s possible that not all of these cons will apply to your exact situation. Many people think that these cons won’t happen to them if they divorce, but in collecting this list from divorced individuals we found that’s exactly what they thought as well.
- You have to worry about who is with your children: Has your spouse chosen a good person to bring into your children’s lives? Or is this person dangerous, cruel, irresponsible, or a bad example?
- Your friends will start to avoid you because all you talk about is your divorce.
- It’s obvious to everyone that you are divorced and wounded because you are alone at church, restaurants, movies, coffee houses, grocery stores (you buy frozen dinners and pizza).
- You date a person and still have to put up with their ex and yours. So you’re fighting other people’s battles or getting them involved in yours even if you don’t intend to.
- Most members of the opposite sex will dump you after one date because you are one of the walking wounded and you talk about your divorce.
- Your heart will be torn from your chest each time you have to watch your child cry as they are going back to their other parent’s house.
- You will not be able to console your child as he/she cries for the spouse that is not there and wants their family together.
- Christmas eves alone or Christmas days when your children can’t play with the great toys you got them as they leave to go to the other parent’s house at 1:00 pm.
- Legal battles against your spouse leave your children in the middle watching mom and dad tear each other apart and spend thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars on divorce attorneys. And yet you thought your spouse would never try to use your children as leverage or weapons! You also thought your now ex spouse would never keep your children from you. Divorce changes everything and lawyers know that getting you two to fight makes them money!
- No dates for important events in your life, everyone is busy or dating someone else.
- Thanksgiving dinners with your family where you are the only one without a spouse or date.
- New Year’s eve with a different date every year or no date at all because it is your night to have the kids.
- Valentine’s Day with a different date other than New Year’s eve date or none at all.
- No one to share ups and downs of life, joys and successes or losses.
- Heartbreak weekly, monthly and yearly…..Ms. (or Mr.) Right is rarely the first one to show up.
- You find out the phrase “I will love you forever” last between 36 and 48 hours or until their lawyer convinces them to “get tough” with you.
- Your friends think you are single and your single friends think you are married.
- You are the prodigal son and lose your church home, you just don’t fit.
- You are too old to be in the singles classes and too single to be in the married classes at church.
- You will not have financial security because you never know when a judge will decide that you “owe” your spouse more money. Now days,
since women are breadwinners or seen as capable of earning/getting a job, this applies to women as well.
- You never have enough money for children and dating.
- You have to find a good person that is worthy of being in your children’s lives…what if you are wrong?
- You hurt your children by unintentionally making them think the divorce is their fault….get ready for lots of therapy with school therapist
- The shame of being divorced. (Even in this day and age, there’s a “shame” associated with divorce. Trust us)
- The feelings that you are a failure as a spouse and lover.
- You will be overwhelmed with financial and emotional burdens.
- Loss of your extended family…you are not welcome at family reunions for the other side.
- Loss of mutual friends. They usually pick sides or get divided like other marital property.
- Feelings of helplessness, like being in quick sand and overwhelmed with life.
- Loneliness, loneliness, loneliness. Everyone has a life and you don’t anymore (you thought divorce meant freedom).
Before divorcing, let us show you how your marriage can work. Not just work, but actually be happy, fulfilling, passionate, and committed. If your marriage is in danger of separation or divorce, call us at (866) 903-0990 to speak with someone or use the form here to request more information about our Marriage Helper workshop for troubled marriages. Our success rate over the last decade is saving three out of four marriages, even when adultery, porn, anger, or other things have deeply hurt the relationship! (If you’re thinking your spouse would never come, contact us by phone or the form below and we’ll tell you what others who felt the same way did to get their spouses there.) We will keep everything you tell us completely confidential. Our motivation is to help you determine if this workshop is right for your particular situation. We also offer solutions for couples who can’t attend the workshop.