The 3 Things Kids MUST Have to Be Resilient During Separation and Divorce
The short answer
Kids can be resilient during separation and divorce, but they are highly unlikely to get there on their own; it is up to parents, friends, and family members to help them. Just as a broken leg needs a doctor, a cast, and physical therapy to heal, children need active help, and this episode walks through three must-dos for building that resilience.
Key takeaways
- Kids can be resilient through separation and divorce, but they are unlikely to get there without help.
- Adults often expect children to know how to heal themselves after a divorce, and that is not how it works.
- Like a broken leg that needs a doctor, a cast and therapy, a child’s hurt needs active care to heal.
- Parents, friends and family members all share the work of helping children become resilient.
We hear it all the time, “Kids are resilient!”
But is it true?
If I fall down the stairs and break my leg, will my leg heal?
Actually, no it won’t heal. If I don’t do anything to help my leg heal, then it will only get worse.
If I go to the doctor, get a cast, go to physical therapy, and do all the things necessary for my leg to heal, then yes, it will heal.
Otherwise…you get the picture.
We understand this for every other area of health and wellness in life. But when it comes to thinking about how children are affected during divorce or separation, all of a sudden we expect the children to know exactly what to do to help themselves heal.
And that’s not how it happens.
Can children be resilient? YES. Absolutely.
Will they be resilient on their own? Highly unlikely.
It is up to parents, friends, and family members to help children become resilient.
In this episode, we discuss the 3 must-do’s in helping your child become resilient.
[Episode brought to you by WhatAboutMe.Org, a division of Marriage Helper that helps children navigate through how to deal with their parents’ divorce. Donate to the mission at whataboutme.org/donate]
Please download your FREE podcast on Apple Podcasts by clicking here!
Download on Google Podcasts by clicking here!
Common questions
Are kids really resilient after their parents divorce?
They can be, absolutely, but it does not happen automatically. When it comes to divorce or separation, adults often expect children to know exactly what to do to help themselves heal, and that is not how it happens.
Will my kids heal on their own after our separation?
Highly unlikely. The episode compares it to a broken leg: if you do nothing to help it heal, it only gets worse, and children likewise need the adults around them to actively help.
Who should help my children cope with divorce?
Parents, friends, and family members all have a part in helping children become resilient. This episode was brought to you by WhatAboutMe.Org, a division of Marriage Helper that helps children deal with their parents’ divorce.