A Prayer for a Troubled Marriage

Why Is It So Hard to Pray When My Marriage Is Falling Apart?

Sometimes people ask me: “What can I pray to save my marriage? What words will bring my spouse back? Is there a prayer for a troubled marriage?”

Sometimes, it’s hard to pray. Especially when you don’t know what to say, you don’t have the strength, and honestly, you aren’t sure that it’s going to make a difference…

Maybe you aren’t a religious person, but you have been grasping at anything you can to bring peace into your life again…this is for you, too.

I get it. I’ve been there, too. And there’s nothing worse than feeling completely helpless and waiting for something to happen – especially when you have no control. When your life is in the midst of chaos, it’s hard to see anything but the middle of the storm that you are in.

A Powerful Prayer for Your Troubled Marriage

If you need some help in finding the words to pray, I wanted to give this to guide you:

God, I know that You are good, even though I can’t see the good right now. I know that You love me, even though I don’t feel You right now. God, please come closer to me. Fill me with Your Spirit. Rid my heart of the anger and hurt I have towards my spouse. Surround me with comfort, strength, and wisdom. Pour Your love into me, into my spouse, and into my marriage. Help me to wait. Be with me in the waiting.

I want to invite you to see what God might be showing you through all of this. Even if you feel alone, He hasn’t abandoned you. Even if you feel weak, that is where His strength comes in. If you feel like He isn’t answering, stay the course.

Does God Really Hear My Prayers for My Marriage?

I want to encourage you today that God hears your prayers for your marriage. He works all things together for good for those who love Him.

We can’t see the big picture right now. But one day, we will. And we will see how, once again, it all worked out for our good. I don’t have a concoction of magic words for you that will make everything right overnight. No one does.

How do I pray when I’m too angry or hurt to talk to God?

When you’re consumed by anger, hurt, or betrayal, traditional prayer can feel impossible or even hypocritical. The good news is that God doesn’t require polished, eloquent prayers—He wants honest ones. Start exactly where you are: “God, I’m so angry I can barely breathe. I don’t even want to pray for my spouse right now because I’m furious with them.” This raw honesty is more valuable than forced words you don’t mean. King David wrote entire psalms filled with anger, confusion, and pain, yet God called him “a man after my own heart” because David brought his authentic self to prayer.

If words won’t come, pray the prayer provided in this article, even if you’re just reading words on a page without feeling them. Sometimes obedience precedes emotion—you pray because you know you should, and the feelings follow later. You can also pray through tears, silence, or groaning. Romans 8:26 says the Spirit intercedes for us when we don’t know what to pray. Give yourself permission to show up before God as the broken, hurting person you are right now, not as the spiritual person you think you should be.

What if my spouse doesn’t believe in prayer?

Your spouse’s beliefs don’t limit God’s ability to work in your marriage or the value of your prayers. You can pray for your marriage and your spouse regardless of whether they participate, believe, or even know you’re praying. In fact, some of the most powerful testimonies come from situations where one spouse prayed faithfully while the other was indifferent or even hostile to faith. Your prayers invite God into your marriage and, more importantly, change you—making you more patient, loving, and wise regardless of your spouse’s response.

However, don’t use prayer as a weapon or manipulation tool. Saying things like “I’m praying God will change you” or “If you’d just pray, our marriage would be fine” creates resentment and positions you as spiritually superior. Pray privately and humbly, focusing on asking God to change your own heart, give you wisdom, and work in ways you can’t see. Let your actions demonstrate the fruit of prayer—increased kindness, patience, and grace—rather than announcing your spiritual practices. Your spouse may eventually become curious about the source of positive changes they observe in you.

Can I pray for my spouse to change?

You can pray for your spouse to change, but you should also pray for God to change you. It’s natural to see your spouse’s faults clearly while your marriage is struggling—their anger, withdrawal, critical words, or hurtful behaviors. God invites you to bring these concerns to Him in prayer. However, praying exclusively for your spouse to change while remaining blind to your own contributions to marital problems is both spiritually immature and practically ineffective.

A more powerful approach is to pray:

“God, show me what I need to change. Help me see my own blind spots, patterns, and behaviors that damage this marriage. Change me into the spouse You designed me to be, regardless of what my spouse does.”

This prayer is harder because it requires humility and openness to conviction. But it’s also more effective because you actually have control over your own choices and responses. As you change, you create different dynamics in the relationship. Many people discover that when they stop demanding their spouse change and focus on their own growth, their spouse begins changing naturally in response to the new, healthier relationship environment you’re creating.

What Should I Do While Waiting for God to Answer?

• Look for others you can encourage in your life. It’s easy to get wrapped up in all of our own troubles…but there are so many others out there struggling as well. We need each other.
• Be extra mindful of the blessings you do have in your life. There are probably many ways that God is answering prayers in other areas, but our tunnel-vision on our current situation keeps us from seeing it.

How long should I wait for God to answer my marriage prayers?

There’s no set timeline for God to answer marriage prayers—some couples see breakthrough in weeks, others wait months or years, and for some the answer looks different than they expected. The question isn’t “how long should I wait?” but “what does faithful waiting look like?” Faithful waiting isn’t passive resignation or refusing to take action. It’s combining trust in God’s timing with active participation in your own healing and marriage improvement.

While waiting, do what you can: get professional counseling, attend a marriage intensive workshop, work on personal growth, eliminate behaviors that damage the relationship, and implement healthy communication patterns. God often works through these practical means rather than bypassing them with a miraculous instant fix. At the same time, release what you can’t control—your spouse’s choices, the timeline for healing, and the specific outcome. Some people pray for years to save their marriage only to discover God’s answer was to give them peace and strength to move forward differently than they imagined. Others wait faithfully and see dramatic restoration. The key is staying connected to God throughout the journey rather than treating prayer as a vending machine where you insert requests and expect specific results on your preferred schedule.

What To Do While Waiting For God To Answer:

Action & How It Helps	Practical Steps
Encourage Others Shifts focus from your pain; gives purpose to struggle	Share your story in online forums including our FaceBook community; text a friend going through divorce; volunteer with marriage ministry
Notice Existing Blessings Prevents gratitude blindness caused by crisis focus	Daily list 3 things you’re grateful for; acknowledge good things about spouse; recognize what’s working in life
Seek Professional Help God often works through counselors and programs	Schedule marriage counseling or coaching; attend Marriage Helper workshop; read marriage improvement books
Work on Personal Growth Changes what you can control (yourself)	Therapy for your own issues; PIES framework (Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Spiritual); identify your triggers
Join Support Community Prevents isolation that deepens despair	Marriage Helper membership; church small group; online support forum; accountability partner
Maintain Spiritual Practices Keeps you connected to God during drought	Daily prayer even when brief; read Scripture; worship music; spiritual journaling
Practice Healthy Boundaries Protects you while staying open to reconciliation	Say no to abuse; require transparency if there was infidelity; separate finances if needed
Document the Journey Helps you see progress you’d otherwise miss	Journal prayers and answers; track small improvements; note changes in your own heart

If you need prayers for your marriage, we want to pray for you. If you need to talk, we will talk with you. We will listen. We will encourage. There IS hope for your situation (maybe even when no one else will tell you).

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