Limerence

Limerence

Limerence is a state of intense emotional infatuation that can disrupt even the strongest marriages.  To define limerence, it’s a psychological state of intense romantic infatuation with another person, often described as being “madly in love” but marked by obsessive thoughts, emotional dependency, and idealization of the other person.

• Intrusive, persistent thoughts about the person (called the “limerent object”).
• Emotional dependence on how that person responds (a high when they show interest, a low when they don’t).
• Idealization — overlooking flaws and exaggerating positive qualities.
• A craving for reciprocation — needing to know the other person feels the same way.
• Intense mood swings based on the relationship’s perceived progress or setbacks.

Unlike healthy love, limerence is more about fantasy and emotional obsession than a stable, grounded relationship. It can last months or even years but often fades, sometimes leaving damage behind if it drove poor decisions (like affairs).

At Marriage Helper, we often explain limerence as the “love drug” because it creates a chemical high in the brain that can distort judgment and pull someone away from long-term commitments.  We offer guidance and resources to help you learn the stages of limerence, recognize the signs and symptoms of limerence, understand its impact, and take steps toward healing.

See all Limerence articles below, or see other helpful topics:

• Affairs
• Ending An Affair
• I Had An Affair
• My Spouse Had An Affair

Get personalized help dealing with limerence:

• Membership
• Marriage Coaching
• Marriage Workshops