Everyone always tosses around the phrase, “Date nights are important for maintaining a healthy relationship.” Yet for many, dinner and a movie are out of budget, take up too much time, and are not filling the other’s love tank…But, not to worry! In this article, we’re going to share the importance of having a regular date night, and how to design a date night that works for you!
While date night may only be an hour or two out of your busy schedule, keep one thing in mind: relationships thrive on authentic and intentional connection.
The challenge to pursue your spouse daily can be difficult at times, but if you remain grounded in a healthy foundation of communication and quality time, you will both be better for it! If you set aside time to “date” your spouse, we guarantee that you will see a difference in your relationship!
Why Date Nights Are Important
Many times as life’s responsibilities creep up, date night is one of the first things to go. We feel like we are “close enough” to our partners, or see “having a date night” as a luxury, rather than a completely necessary part of a happy and healthy relationship model.
Thoughts such as, “Sure, we could use a date night, but who has the time?” have destroyed many plans. Even the everyday excuse, “Today was exhausting, I just want to lay down and relax.” easily dismisses a date night.
Now – this can be a very slippery slope that most couples do not see coming. If you stop investing in your relationship, it will stop giving back to you.
Yes, it may sound difficult, but date night is crucial to maintaining your strong relationship, especially with the added stress of everyday life.
But, if you pour energy into your relationship, your relationship can jump-start itself, and actually make your load feel lighter. It can help you both communicate better, feel closer, learn more about your partner (yes, even after years of being together), help raise happier children, and help encourage the type of growth that you see in a lasting relationship.
Why Having A Regular Date Night Will Transform Your Relationship
Having a regular date night ensures scheduled quality time, open conversation, minimal distraction and enjoying the other’s company. (And honestly, all of the things that you may not get to do in between your household’s day-to-day.)
If you find yourself feeling disconnected, unhappy, unheard, discontent, or just tired in your relationship, it’s important that you know this: the strength and integrity of your relationship is pivotal to maintaining your relationship, and building upon what you already have!
It may take some time for you both to feel like date night is beneficial, but don’t give up! Find the perfect date night model to make sure you both enjoy your time together!
Tap into your dating years again… What did you love doing together? Whether it was taking long walks with good conversation, going to the movies and critiquing the actors afterward, chatting over coffee, or even going bowling and using the lane bumpers to get a perfect score… whatever your favorite date night used to be, start from there!
Our Best Tips On How To Have A Perfect Date Night
Now, the wheels may be turning on how you can make a date night happen soon in your relationship, but it is not very useful if you do not make it happen. We know, it is not an easy task. With all the distractions; work, kids, family, friends. It seems impossible for us to have any spare time at all, much less find time for date night.
We know making time for date nights can be difficult. In fact, in a recent study, a handful of couples were asked what the most difficult part about planning date night was. Can you guess the number one answer? Finding time! Over 40% of couples surveyed said this was their number one excuse! If you don’t find time to pursue your partner intentionally, you will run the risk of slowly letting a healthy relationship slip away altogether.
We are now going to discuss three of the most common obstacles we may face when planning a date night, and how to work around them:
“There is no time for a Date Night”
Arguably, this is the most common deterrent to date night. We come home from work exhausted, only to have to play catch up with chores, kids, pets, family, friends, finances, etc. It can become overwhelming and exhausting. It can feel like by the time things are finally finished, it is already time to go to sleep and repeat the cycle the next day. How can we possibly make time for a date night like this?
Thankfully, there are a handful of simple and quick things you can do today to make time for date night. You do not need hours on end. Try to just schedule one single hour every month. Yes, just one hour a month is all it takes to start this healthy relationship habit! You do not have to dress up and make reservations at the fancy restaurant an hour away. You do not have to pack up and spend an entire weekend away. Just set aside one hour where it is just you and your partner together, alone. Set the kids up with their favorite show, movie, or game and use that time for your date night.
Now, you may be asking, “What are we supposed to do at home that only takes an hour?” There are a lot of things! A simple Google search can provide quick answers and inspiration, we have even provided a few fun ideas below. Alternatively, you can go for the classic pizza and movie night.
“Date Night is not in the budget”
There is a lot of social pressure to spend awful amounts of money on date night. From getting flowers, going out to an expensive dinner, or even getting dressed up in your out-on-the-town clothes. Even just going to the movie theater is $15 or more per ticket. (And this doesn’t even include the upcharge for popcorn!)
Hear us out: expensive dates do not have to be the case. The best date nights are usually the cheapest. Think about it this way… when was the last time you and your partner just talked without a care in the world? Grab some coffee and walk around a park. Go people-watching. Go for a drive. It’s not at all about how much money you spend, it’s about the quality time you spend together.
Need a little extra help with planning your next date night? Try out a date night box subscription! Every month, get shipped a brand new, unique date night in a box with everything necessary inside, starting for as little as $20 a month! With that price, you can easily fit a date night in, even with the tightest of budgets.
“What about the kids? We will have to hire a babysitter…”
If there is something all parents can all agree on, it is that having children can be time-consuming. They will change your lives (for the better and for the crazy). They have enough extra energy for you and your spouse combined! (We won’t even begin to pretend how difficult it can be to find a babysitter.) Because of this, a lot of parents find it easier to just throw in the towel on both personal time and date night time.
Some of our favorite tips for busy and tired parents are to: have your date night while they are asleep, or when they are participating in a club or sport; keep them happily occupied for an hour or so by putting on their favorite movie, or give them a puzzle and tell them they will get a prize if they complete all of it without your assistance!
Now that we have gone over some of the most common date night deterrents, let us talk about some creative date night ideas!
The Best Types Of Date Nights
Date nights do not have to be extravagant, complicated, or even fancy. The best date nights are usually relaxing and include being ourselves while doing something we enjoy. This takes the pressure and stress off of planning the perfect date night.
We know that date night may be the only time you feel closeness with your partner all week (or even all month). This is why we encourage you to find a date night activity that fills both of your “love tanks” up. For example, if you are a physical touch person, and your partner is a words of affirmation person, watching a movie will not benefit either of you for a date night.
Choose an activity or theme for your date night that will fulfill both of your love languages, or choose two activities so that both of you fully enjoy your night and get to feel fully loved and known during your date.
Here are some examples of creative date nights:
Make some art together
It is okay to get a little dirty for the sake of love! Go get a canvas, paintbrushes, and some paint. You can create a special painting together, or have some fun and draw caricatures of each other. Laughter is one of the best ways to grow closer together. It doesn’t matter how terrible of an artist you are, just enjoying time with the other is all that matters.
Give each other massages
We know that nothing feels better after a stressful day than a great massage. We are also sure that it is that much more enjoyable if it is given to you by your loving partner. Give each other a 10-minute massage, then lay next to each other and enjoy that feeling of relaxation. Maybe even talk about your day, or just enjoy the peace together.
Have a Nerf Gun battle
This might seem a little childish, but when was the last time you got to have some mindless fun together? Go to your local Target or Walmart and locate your toy weapons of choice: some Nerf guns or a laser tag set. Anything like this would work perfectly! Next, set up the house to be your own obstacle course, make forts and barricades with couches, pillows, blankets, and whatever else you can find! Let the neighbors judge you, we bet they are not having as much fun as you both are!
Make your dessert
Whether that is a baked good like cookies, cake, or even making some ice cream! Making ice cream is simple. All you need is milk, sugar, and your favorite flavor add-ins of choice. (And, don’t forget the toppings!) Maybe an ice cream sundae bar? Cookie decorating contest? The kitchen is all yours! Not only will your dessert be freshly made, but it will taste much better knowing you made it together with love.
Dinner and a movie… at home!
This idea is fairly standard, but we are going to spruce this idea up some! Instead of going out to dinner and a movie, have your date night at home instead! Go ahead and cook up or order-in a delicious dinner (or dessert if you are a little daring) along with your partner, (not just “you cook they clean,” make it intimate!) and stream a movie or television show that you both love! This is much more intimate than going out. And did we hear someone say “pillow fort?”
At the end of the day, one of the most important ingredients to an amazing date night is commitment.
You have to fit your quality time into both schedules and you must keep each other accountable for holding your date! The benefits will become obvious once you can’t keep your hands off your partner!
We have now spoken on how important date night is to build strong relationships, what the common excuses are for passing up date night, and even some fun date night ideas. Now, never let date nights go! Whether you’re planning a date on your own, going out, or staying in, commit to that couple time! The newfound strength in your relationship will thank you!
Do You Wish You Could Have MORE In Your Marriage?
Do you want more love? More passion? More intimacy?
We can help you get more in your marriage. The Path to Soul Satisfying Love is a 10 Part Video Series to Guide you and your spouse through how to fall deeper in love than ever before. Click here to learn more!