When One Spouse Changes Who They Are To Pursue What They Want: Part 1
The short answer
When one spouse changes who they are, it is usually because whatever had the greatest influence over them has changed, and that shift reshapes their beliefs and then their values. Dr. Joe and Dr. Kimberly say the “midlife crisis” label is a lie that hides this process, and they explain how someone can become a completely different person than the one you fell in love with.
Key takeaways
- Dr. Joe and Dr. Kimberly say the “midlife crisis” label hides a real process in which a spouse changes their own beliefs and values.
- A spouse who suddenly seems like a stranger has usually come under a new main influence in their life.
- A new influence reshapes what a person believes, new beliefs reshape what they value, and new values can make them someone you no longer recognize.
- This first episode of a four-part Relationship Radio series explains how that kind of change can harm a marriage.
A “midlife crisis” is a lie. This has become a label associated with a process that occurs when one spouse changes their own beliefs and values. This person may become a completely different person because whatever had the greatest influence over them has changed.
When your greatest influence changes, your belief system changes. When your belief system changes, your value system changes. When your value system changes, you become a completely different person.
If you or your spouse has changed in a way that has caused harm to the marriage, then this video is for you. You will learn how someone changes who they are (sometimes for the worse) and can eventually become a completely different person than the one you or your spouse fell in love with.
Join us as we discuss this in this special 4-part series of Relationship Radio.
Relationship Radio is hosted by CEO of Marriage Helper, Kimberly Beam Holmes, and founder of Marriage Helper, Dr. Joe Beam.
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Common questions
Is a midlife crisis real?
This episode calls the “midlife crisis” a lie. The label gets attached to a real process in which one spouse changes their own beliefs and values until they become a different person.
Why does my spouse seem like a completely different person?
Something new has likely become the strongest influence in their life. A new influence leads to new beliefs, new beliefs lead to new values, and new values can make someone very different from the person you married.
Can a spouse change for the worse?
Yes. Someone can change who they are, sometimes for the worse, in a way that harms the marriage. Dr. Joe and Dr. Kimberly explain how that happens in this four-part Relationship Radio series.