Dealing With Guilt in Marriage
The short answer
The healthiest way to handle guilt in marriage is to use it for good when it is healthy and remove it once it starts causing harm. Guilt is part of having a conscience, but it can lead to poor decisions, pulling away, lashing out, or punishing yourself. Dr. Joe Beam, author of Getting Past Guilt, also talks about finding true forgiveness from others, yourself, and God.
Key takeaways
- Guilt affects everyone in a relationship: the person carrying it loses their peace, and the people who love them feel pushed away or helpless.
- Healthy guilt is part of having a conscience, and without it any remorse we showed for hurting others would be fake.
- Guilt turns harmful when it leads to poor decisions, pulling away from others, lashing out, or punishing yourself.
- Getting past guilt includes finding true forgiveness from others, from yourself, and from God.
It may be guilt you feel. It may guilt felt by someone you love. Either way, it affects everyone. The person who feels guilt has little to no peace. The ones who love the guilt-ridden are pushed away…or feel helpless to help.
Guilt isn’t a bad thing. We actually need it. If we never felt it, we’d have no conscience…we’d fake feeling remorse and true emotions about how we affect others, but that’s all it would be…fake.
But guilt can also work against us. It can lead us to make poor decisions, remove ourselves from others, cause us to lash out at others, or even do things to punish ourselves (whether we realize that we’re doing it or not).
When should a person feel guilty?
What is the best way to deal with guilt?
How can we get past guilt, especially when there seems to be nothing we can do to stop it?
How can we find true forgiveness from others…from ourselves…from our God.
How does guilt affect relationships?
How can we help those who are captured by guilt find the way out of the darkness and pain?
In this program Dr. Joe Beam, author of Getting Past Guilt, discusses the subject of guilt…what it is…when it’s good…when it’s bad…how to use it for good results…how to remove it when it’s causing harm…how to help others who feel guilt. Listen below:
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Common questions
Is guilt healthy in a marriage?
It can be. Guilt is part of having a conscience, and it only becomes harmful when it drives poor decisions, withdrawal, lashing out, or self-punishment.
How does guilt affect my relationship with my spouse?
Guilt robs the person carrying it of peace, and it can leave the people who love them feeling shut out or unable to help. That is why it touches the whole family, not only the one who feels it.
How do I get past guilt in my marriage?
Dr. Joe Beam teaches that guilt can be used for good results and removed when it is causing harm. He also talks about finding true forgiveness from others, from yourself, and from God.