The harder you try, the further they go.
Seven lessons from Dr. Joe Beam on the single most important principle in relationships: why effort backfires in a crisis, and what actually draws a person back.
What it actually teaches.
Think of two magnets. The harder you chase a spouse who is pulling away, the harder you push them in the other direction. It is not about what you mean; it is about what they feel. That is the push and pull principle, and it sits underneath every marriage crisis we have ever worked with.
This toolkit is the principle taught properly: the hidden forces shaping your relationship, why your spouse stays even when it hurts, what happens when something or someone else becomes the pull, and the path to restoration. It is the foundation the rest of our tools are built on, which is why most people start here or with the full course.
What's inside.
Seven focused video lessons, principle then application. Watch in any order, on any device, yours for life.
- 1. The Most Important Principle in Relationships The push and pull dynamic underneath every relationship.
- 2. The Hidden Forces Shaping Every Relationship What is actually moving the two of you, underneath the words.
- 3. Why What You Mean Does Not Matter, Only What They Feel Intent does not pull. Felt experience does.
- 4. When Pushing Is the Right Thing to Do The exceptions: when a push is exactly what the marriage needs.
- 5. Why People Stay, Even When It Hurts The forces that hold people in place, and what they mean for you.
- 6. When Something or Someone Else Becomes the Pull Affairs, addictions, and the outside pulls that compete with you.
- 7. The Path to Restoration Putting pushes and pulls to work to draw your spouse back.
Who it's for.
This is for you if
- The more you try, the worse it gets, and you cannot figure out why.
- Your spouse is withdrawn, apathetic, or emotionally checked out.
- There is an affair or another outside pull competing for your spouse.
- You want the foundational framework before anything more specialized.
Taught by someone who has been on both sides.
Dr. Joe Beam did not learn this in a classroom first. He left his wife Alice for another woman, divorced, and watched that relationship collapse exactly the way the research says it does. Three years later, he and Alice remarried. The frameworks he teaches came out of that road back, three decades of research, and tens of thousands of couples since.
It works differently when your teacher has stood where you are standing.
Read Joe's story →What couples say on Google.
The twelve-week Save My Marriage Course was amazing to walk through and complete and I can’t wait to do more of their courses, as I learned so much.
Even in my case I saw that smart contact and PIES worked. I will apply the principles in my future relationship.
It’s user friendly and All of the information is there to help you succeed in saving your marriage. It works! It takes effort, the tools and the support are there if you need it.
One payment. Yours for life.
- Focused video lessons, taught start to finish
- Lifetime access, streaming on any device
- Self-paced, rewatch as your situation changes
- One payment, no subscription
Want it live with our team instead? See the workshop.
Questions.
- Is this the same teaching that is in the Save My Marriage Course?
- The principle appears there too, because everything we teach is built on it. The toolkit is the deep, focused version: seven lessons on nothing but pushes and pulls, including the cases the course only touches, like when pushing is the right move.
- Should I get this or the full Save My Marriage Course?
- This toolkit goes deep on one piece of the picture. The Save My Marriage Course is the complete twelve-lesson framework covering the whole situation. If this one issue is what is burning hottest, start here. If you want the entire system, start with the course.
- How long do I have access?
- For life. Everything is self-paced, streams on any device, and stays yours, so you can rewatch lessons as your situation changes.