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The End Of A Marriage: 3 Reasons Why It Happens (And How To Prevent It)
Would you believe us if we said we could look at any marriage that ended in divorce and tell you EXACTLY why it happened?
What if we could specify it down to one of three possible reasons?
If you want to know, keep reading. We will explain the top three reasons that marriages (and relationships) come to an end.
(And, we will reveal how each of these reasons is PREVENTABLE!)
We have worked with hundreds of thousands of couples over the past 20 years. We have seen marriages on the verge of ending – and have helped couples save the relationship and stay together.
What we’ve seen with these couples connects GREATLY with the research. According to the research of Dr. Gottman, all relationships end because of one of three reasons: either a person doesn’t feel liked, loved or respected.
All other issues are just symptoms of one of these three core problems.
What does it mean to “like” someone? At its simplest, liking someone means that you enjoy being around them. Think of it this way, if someone doesn’t like you, you probably won’t want to be around them much.
What does it mean to “love” someone? Scientifically it’s formed by intimacy, passion & commitment- but see our other video for a more detailed description: Definition of Love
Love is also a deep connection and longing. It’s a willingness to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. And if you don’t feel loved, you may feel like you need to change in order to be accepted.
What does it mean to “respect” someone? It means to see a person as equal; a person who is allowed to think, feel, dream and wish for him/herself. So many times in marriage, we want to change what our spouse thinks, feels, or wants. However, this only leads our spouse to feel controlled or disrespected. When they don’t feel like they can be themselves, it pushes them away.
The goal in marriage is not to be codependent or completely independent, but interdependent. Where you don’t have to have each other but you want each other.
What about your marriage?
If any of these things are lacking in a marriage, one person not feeling liked, loved or respected… then the marriage is headed for trouble. That is, if you keep going forward in your relationship with no changes (when change is needed) things will probably get worse. But here’s the good news – you can change the trajectory that your marriage is on.
Your marriage can turnaround from where it currently is and become stronger and better than you could imagine.