how to maintain a good marriage

Maintaining a harmonious and fulfilling relationship can be both challenging and rewarding.

After all, a good marriage doesn’t just happen by chance. It’s the result of ongoing effort, commitment, and love from both spouses. 

In this guide, we explore practical and effective strategies that can help you nurture and strengthen your marriage. 

From learning each other’s love languages to embracing the art of communication and rekindling the sparks of romance, each step is a building block towards a more joyful and resilient union.

If you’d like more ways to build up your marriage, join one of our marriage workshops today!

10 Ways to Maintain a Good Marriage

Sustaining harmony and happiness in your marriage is an ongoing commitment. It demands both attention and intention. 

This isn’t just about weathering storms but nurturing the everyday moments that compose your shared life

Neglecting to actively cultivate your relationship can lead to a gradual disconnect. Over time, this may erode the foundation you’ve built together. 

To prevent this from happening, here are 10 ways to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse.

1. Learn Each Other’s Love Languages

Understanding and speaking your spouse’s love language can transform your relationship whether it’s words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch.

love languages

Knowing how your spouse expresses and receives love will enhance your connection.

For instance, if your spouse’s love language is ”‘Words of Affirmation,” make a conscious effort to express your love and appreciation.

You can do this through compliments, verbal encouragement, and heartfelt notes. 

Conversely, if your spouse values “Acts of Service,” look for ways to ease their burden, such as helping with chores or preparing their favorite meal.

2. Check In Regularly

Set aside time for regular check-ins with your spouse. 

This could be a weekly date night or a quiet coffee break where you talk about your relationship, feelings, and any concerns you might have.

These moments keep the lines of communication open and foster intimacy.

Ask each other questions like:

  • What was the highlight of your week?
  • Is there anything I did this week that made you feel especially loved (or unloved)?
  • What’s something we can do together in the coming week?

Remember, the goal of these check-ins is to know and connect with your spouse, not necessarily to solve all issues immediately. 

Sometimes, simply being heard and understood can significantly strengthen your emotional bond.

3. Express Gratitude Consistently

Frequently express gratitude for each other. 

Now, this doesn’t mean forcing appreciation for everything your spouse does. Instead, it’s about genuinely recognizing and valuing their contributions and qualities.

This practice cultivates a positive atmosphere in your marriage and helps both spouses feel valued.

It also helps prevent any feelings of resentment or neglect from one spouse.

One impactful way to show your gratitude is through actions. 

Reciprocating your spouse’s efforts by doing something kind for them speaks volumes. It could be finishing a task they dislike or planning a surprise that they would enjoy.

4. Support Personal Interests

Encourage and support each other’s hobbies and interests. 

Having separate passions can actually bring more excitement and balance to your marriage.

It shows respect for you and your spouse’s individuality while also putting your collective growth at the forefront.

Take time to understand what your spouse loves about their hobby. Ask questions, show interest, and even participate occasionally. 

For example, if your spouse enjoys gardening, you could join them in planning a garden layout or selecting plants. If they enjoy gaming, join a duel every few weeks.

Simply showing interest in what your spouse cares about goes a long way toward strengthening your bond.

5. Join a Marriage Workshop

Marriage workshops provide structured learning on various aspects of a relationship, including communication, conflict resolution, intimacy, and emotional connection. 

This approach helps couples understand the dynamics of their relationship and learn practical skills for improvement.

a couple joining a marriage workshop

At Marriage Helper, you can join our Couples Turnaround Workshop led by our certified marriage coaches.

Even if you and your spouse are separated or facing problems, a marriage workshop can help you regain a clearer perspective on your relationship.

6. Celebrate Milestones

Remember to celebrate important dates and achievements together. Be it anniversaries, professional successes, or personal milestones.

It doesn’t have to be extravagant each time. 

The important thing is to treat the occasion as something special and worth remembering.

This allows you both to pause and reflect on the progress you’ve made, individually and as a couple. And it strengthens your bond as spouses.

Celebrating milestones is an opportunity to express gratitude for each other’s support and dedication throughout different phases of life. 

7. Maintain Financial Transparency

Have open and honest conversations about finances. 

Discussing your budget, savings goals, and spending habits can prevent misunderstandings and build trust.

Remember, money matters often reflect deeper values and priorities. 

Not being on the same page with your spouse regarding finances can lead to bigger conflicts down the line.

In fact, as many as 38% of divorces are caused by financial problems.

some divorces are caused by financial problems

8. Maintain Some Spontaneity

Keep the spark alive by injecting spontaneity into your relationship. 

Surprise dates, unexpected gifts, or a sudden weekend getaway can add excitement to your marriage.

Breaking the routine with gestures or activities can bring joy and surprise into your daily life. 

Spontaneous actions also show your spouse that they are a priority in your life. 

It demonstrates that you are willing to go out of your comfort zone to make your spouse happy

This can deeply reinforce the feelings of being loved and cherished within the relationship.

9. Share Household Responsibilities

Sharing household responsibilities is key to fostering a sense of fairness, teamwork, and respect in a marriage. 

This goes beyond simply dividing tasks. 

It includes understanding each other’s daily burdens and actively working to support one another.

When both spouses actively contribute to the daily tasks of running a home, it creates a balanced environment where both feel valued.

One way to do this is to develop a schedule that outlines who does what and when. This can help ensure that all necessary tasks are covered without one spouse feeling overburdened.

Flexibility is key – be willing to adjust the schedule as needed, especially during busy or stressful times.

10. Keep Intimacy Alive

Physical and emotional intimacy is one the most important things in a marriage

Regular affection, intimate conversations, and maintaining a fulfilling sexual help maintain a close emotional connection.

But with busy schedules, it’s easy for intimacy to take a back seat. 

So it’s important to set regular schedules for spending time with your spouse. Whether it’s a date night or dedicated time at home. 

This ensures that both spouses are making a conscious effort to connect on a deeper level.

Can an Unhappy Marriage Be Fixed?

Yes, an unhappy marriage can often be fixed with commitment, open communication, and sometimes professional guidance. 

Marriage Helper’s programs can provide the tools and support needed to address issues and rebuild a happier, healthier relationship.

You can grow love in your marriage despite current conflicts or feelings of unhappiness with your spouse.

Making the choice to value and work on your relationship can bring positive changes, both for yourself and your spouse.

making the choice to value and work on your relationship can bring positive changes, both for yourself and your spouse

How Do You Find Peace in a Bad Marriage?

Finding peace in a troubled marriage involves identifying the root causes of unhappiness, communicating openly with your spouse, and seeking solutions together. 

In some cases, individual or couples therapy can offer the guidance needed to navigate through the challenges.

This can help you focus on what you can control, such as your own actions, emotions, and self-improvement.

A Good Marriage Takes Work

A good marriage requires ongoing effort, commitment, and the willingness to adapt and grow together. 

Through mutual understanding, support, and dedication, couples can maintain a strong and loving relationship.

At Marriage Helper, we understand that maintaining a good marriage takes work. That’s why our programs cater to all stages of marriage.

Whether you’re facing difficulties, feeling distant, or simply looking to deepen your connection.

For ongoing support, you can join our online membership. It’s a platform with an interactive community and educational resources, all aimed at nurturing and sustaining a healthy, loving relationship.

Or explore one of our marriage workshops, a proven way to strengthen your marriage.

We’re looking forward to serving you and your marriage!