Infidelity: The 3 Types
The short answer
The three types of infidelity are sexual, emotional, and a combination of the two. Sexual infidelity stems from the desire for sex, not a relationship. Emotional infidelity grows from a relational connection and is known as limerence. The combined type, an emotional connection that becomes physical, is the strongest of the three, and each type needs to be approached differently.
Key takeaways
- Infidelity comes in three types, sexual, emotional or a mix of both, and each one grows out of a biological and relational need.
- Sexual infidelity is about the desire for sex, while emotional infidelity, known as limerence, grows from a close connection with another person.
- An affair that starts as an emotional bond and turns physical is the strongest type, because it engages sexual, emotional and physical drives together.
- Since each type has to be handled differently, start by asking whether trust was broken, what drove the infidelity, and what the core issue is.
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The 3 Types of Infidelity
Has your marriage been impacted by an affair? If so, this video can help you determine what type of infidelity occurred and provide you with specific next steps.
Where does infidelity stem from? Each type of infidelity comes from a biological and relational need. It can be sexual, emotional, and/or physical. However, each type differs in how it needs to be approached and responded to.
Here are a few key differences. Sexual infidelity stems from the desire for sex. It is sexual in nature- it is not about creating a relationship.
Emotional infidelity stems from a relational connection between two people. It is companionate in nature. We know this specific type of infidelity as “Limerence.” (We have MANY resources on Limerence, so please visit our website & check out our other YouTube videos on this topic.)
Lastly, there is a type of infidelity that is a combination of emotional & sexual. What once began as an emotional connection, grows into a physical relationship. This type of infidelity is the strongest of the three. It is the strongest because combines the three biological drives of a person: sexual, emotional, and physical.
There are many other types of infidelity, however, at its center, infidelity is being unfaithful in mind, body, and/or spirit.
Here’s the question you must ask: Has there been a breach of trust in your relationship? And, is it hurting your marriage?
And if so, what is the motivation behind the infidelity? What is the core issue?
If you feel like there has been infidelity in your marriage, it does NOT have to be the end of your marriage. Take the affair assessment to help you figure out what kind of infidelity has happened & what you should do to move forward: Marriage Affair Assessment
Here at Marriage Helper we work with many couples who have been impacted by infidelity. If your marriage has been impacted by infidelity and you don’t know what to do next, please give us a call and we will direct you to the best resource for your situation.
Common questions
Is an emotional affair considered infidelity?
Yes. Emotional infidelity stems from a relational connection between two people, and Marriage Helper calls it limerence. At its center, infidelity is being unfaithful in mind, body, or spirit.
Which type of affair is the strongest?
The affair that combines emotional and sexual infidelity is the strongest. It usually starts as an emotional connection and grows into a physical relationship, so it pulls on all three drives: sexual, emotional, and physical.
Does infidelity mean my marriage is over?
No, infidelity does not have to be the end of your marriage. Start by asking whether there has been a breach of trust, what motivated the infidelity, and what the core issue is, so you know how to respond.