You can't think your way out. Until you calm down.
Ten lessons from Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes, applying performance psychology to a marriage crisis: regulate your nervous system first, because every good decision depends on it.
What it actually teaches.
Calming down is the first step of everything we teach, and it is the step people skip. A flooded nervous system cannot do the work: it pleads when it should be steady, fights when it should listen, and spirals when it should sleep. You cannot think your way out of a crisis until your body lets you.
The Calm Toolkit is Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes applying performance psychology to the worst season of your life: practical regulation tactics across all four PIES domains, what to do when you are depressed or anxious, and how to start with one technique today instead of trying to fix everything at once. It is the ground the rest of the work stands on.
What's inside.
Ten video lessons. Watch in any order, on any device, yours for life.
- 1. Calm Down Why saving your marriage starts with saving yourself.
- 2. How to Calm Down Four screening questions and decision-making under stress.
- 3. Using the PIES to Calm Down The four-domain framework applied to regulation.
- 4. How to Calm Down Physically Sleep, movement, and nutrition tactics.
- 5. How to Calm Down Mentally Box breathing, habit loops, and mindfulness.
- 6. Leaning Into Emotions to Calm Down Emotional practices, including Name the Lie, Say the Truth.
- 7. How to Calm Down Spiritually Values alignment and grounding practices.
- 8. What Do You Do Right Now Starting with one technique instead of all of them.
- 9. When You Are Feeling Depressed The exercise, therapy, and medication trifecta.
- 10. When You Are Feeling Anxious Five anxiety habit loops and how to break them.
Who it's for.
This is for you if
- You are not sleeping, not eating right, and cannot focus since the crisis started.
- Every conversation with your spouse blows up because you walk in already flooded.
- You are parenting through this and cannot afford to fall apart.
- You know what you should do but cannot get steady enough to do it.
Taught by Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes.
Kimberly holds a PhD in performance psychology and leads Marriage Helper as CEO. Her research centers on the question most marriage advice skips: what actually draws two people back toward each other, and how a person grows the kind of attraction that lasts.
She also teaches it from experience. In 2013 she was certain her own marriage was finished. It came back, on the same research she teaches here.
Read Kimberly's story →What couples say on Google.
The twelve-week Save My Marriage Course was amazing to walk through and complete and I can’t wait to do more of their courses, as I learned so much.
Even in my case I saw that smart contact and PIES worked. I will apply the principles in my future relationship.
It’s user friendly and All of the information is there to help you succeed in saving your marriage. It works! It takes effort, the tools and the support are there if you need it.
One payment. Yours for life.
- Focused video lessons, taught start to finish
- Lifetime access, streaming on any device
- Self-paced, rewatch as your situation changes
- One payment, no subscription
Want it live with our team instead? See the workshop.
Questions.
- How is this different from general anxiety advice?
- It is built specifically for a marriage crisis: the flooding that happens in conversations with your spouse, the sleepless nights after discovery, parenting while your world shakes. Same science, aimed at the exact moments you are living.
- Should I get this or the full Save My Marriage Course?
- This toolkit goes deep on one piece of the picture. The Save My Marriage Course is the complete twelve-lesson framework covering the whole situation. If this one issue is what is burning hottest, start here. If you want the entire system, start with the course.
- How long do I have access?
- For life. Everything is self-paced, streams on any device, and stays yours, so you can rewatch lessons as your situation changes.