A woman’s intuition is never wrong…or is it? Is your husband lying, acting shady, or maybe you think he’s doing something that he shouldn’t be doing? Maybe you think there are signs that your husband is cheating on you. We’re going to talk about that in a minute, but don’t do anything rash before we get there.
My name is Kimberly Holmes. I am the CEO of Marriage Helper. Here at Marriage Helper, we have worked with thousands of couples; Thousands of marriages that have been affected by an affair. Thousands of people suspect, sometimes rightfully so, that their husband is having an affair. It doesn’t mean that their marriage is over. We have seen thousands of marriages saved, even when the husband has had an affair. There is hope. I want you to know that on the front end, but I also know that you’re probably freaking out right now. Calm down; we’re going to get there.
I’m going to tell you some things that you can do. And I’m also going to tell you the basic things you should look for if you think your husband is cheating. So before you jump in that car and start following them around town, chill out. We’re going to get there.
But first, I want to tell you about this free marriage strategy call that we will offer you. At Marriage Helper, I’m going to be honest with you: we are the experts at saving marriages when there’s been an affair or when there’s currently an affair. This is something we have helped so many people handle. We have an amazing success rate at it—over 70%. We know what to do, understand why affairs happen and know how to stop them. Our team understands what you can do if your spouse is having an affair to save the marriage, attract your spouse, bring your spouse back to you, and make sure that the affair never happens again.
There is hope. And in this free marriage strategy session that we have, you can speak with someone on our team, on our client relations team, and understand the things that we can offer you: our coaching, our courses, and our workshops that have a fantastic success rate for you.
Just because your husband is lying and acting shady does not necessarily mean he’s having an affair.
So stop Google shopping for all of these signs that your husband is cheating. That’s what I call it when people go on Google and are searching these terms, and they’re finding all this terrible information; it’s just raising their anxiety. I have a friend who calls it Google pain shopping. You’re going on Google, and you’re just shopping for pain because that’s how it feels. You get more anxious, and it gets worse. It’s not the best thing to do. I will tell you the truth, but I also hope it lowers your anxiety slightly. Because once you know what’s going on, then you can learn how to fix it.
Just because your husband is lying doesn’t mean he’s having an affair. It could mean that your husband’s a habitual liar, although that is rarely the case. It more than likely means, if your husband’s lying, that maybe he’s scared of telling the truth. And we have a whole other video about that. So I’m not going to go into that today, but we can make it to where we teach our husbands to lie. Because if we’re not a safe space for them when they come to us and tell us the truth, then they’re not going to keep telling us the truth. So just because they’re lying doesn’t necessarily mean anything shady is going on.
Here are the things you should be looking for if you think your husband might be having an affair.
I had a friend who, several years ago, had a husband who was involved in an affair. She didn’t know it at the time, though, for two years. Her husband would go on these trips; he’d be gone for weekends. He would say that he would do work stuff, but it never really truly lined up. So he would be gone a lot. He would go and be out until 2:00 or 3:00 AM with his friends.
And she would say, “I mean, he’s just out with his friends, and it just happens to be four nights a week.” And I think she always kind of knew what was happening because she would never press the issue. I think she was scared of what she would find if she pressed even further. But there was a lot of missing time all of a sudden, for two years. He was missing time.
So this same friend didn’t have access anymore to the bank accounts. And when she could see some of the bank account statements that came in, there were a lot of just chunks of change that were going towards hotel stays while he was out on these work trips. So thousands of dollars were spent a month. And then she was saying, “what’s happening with this?” There was always a story. There was always a cover-up to try and hide it, but there was missing time, missing money, and missing trust.
What I mean by missing trust is all of a sudden, her husband put passwords on everything. Put passwords on his phone, changed his passwords on social media. He no longer trusted her to see what was going on behind those doors. And so all of these things together really should raise red flags that perhaps your husband, whether it’s an affair or not, may be doing something he doesn’t want you to discover. And maybe you should consider what that means.
Now, as I said before, this does not mean that you hop in your car and start chasing him around town. The last thing that you should do is start accusing your husband of having an affair. A better thing to do would be to ask your husband where he is. “Hey, where are you going when you’re gone all of this time? Where is all this money going? Why have you changed the passwords to your phone?” Again, yes, your husband might lie to you about this because if he is having an affair, he doesn’t want to get caught.
But short of hiring a private detective and putting a GPS tracker on your car, which you should not do, you can’t force your husband to tell the truth. However, you can begin to pave the way for truth to come out.
The truth is always going to come out.
It’s always going to come out that your husband’s having an affair, one way or another. He’s going to admit to it; the other woman’s going to contact you. Something’s going to happen, and it’s going to come out. You don’t want to be the one to force everything to come up more than likely. Eventually, you may get to the point where you want to confront your spouse and ask him, is he having an affair?
Before you do that, what you should do is get with one of our coaches. Get in our Save My Marriage Course. Because those are the things that will make sure that you are grounded enough before approaching the situation. And I know that you want to do it today. I know more than likely. You are more than likely the person who’s saying, “I can’t live like this anymore. Something’s wrong. I need to talk about it; I need to figure out an answer.” I get it. But if you accuse your spouse, your husband, and you don’t have the evidence to support it, it’s probably not going to end well.
I’m asking you to think things through. To try, take a deep breath, and realize you’re not alone in this. So many other women have gone through it. It doesn’t make it right, but realize what you can do to have the best success in getting the affair to come to light, getting your husband to come back, and making your marriage to be better than ever.
The best thing you can do is have that free marriage strategy session like I was telling you about at the beginning of this article. One of our client relations team members will listen to your story and guide you to the best resource we have for you right now. Take a deep breath, book that marriage strategy call, and know that there’s still hope. Even if your husband’s having an affair, there is still hope. And we are here for you to teach you what you can do to bring your marriage back together.