Physical Affair Vs. Emotional Affair
The short answer
The main difference is sex. An emotional affair usually involves no physical contact, or contact that stops short of sex, such as holding hands, hugging or even a kiss, while a physical affair includes whatever you consider sex. Dr. Joe also describes a third category, limerence, and couples can overcome either kind of affair depending on the choices both spouses make.
Key takeaways
- An emotional affair usually stops short of sex, though it may include holding hands, hugging or kissing.
- A physical or sexual affair crosses into whatever you consider to be sex, which is the main line between the two.
- Limerence is a third category that Dr. Joe teaches alongside physical and emotional affairs.
- Couples can grow past an emotional or sexual affair, depending on the decisions both spouses make and the steps they take.
Do you know the difference between physical affairs and emotional affairs?
Typically, people refer to an emotional affair as one that has no physical interaction between the two people, or if some physical interaction, it’s not regular sex. What we mean by that is this: “We may have held hands. We may have hugged. We may have even kissed at some point, but we haven’t done anything beyond that.”
A sexual affair, obviously, will include whatever you consider to be sex. But you may be wondering, can an affair be both physical AND emotional? There is actually a third category called “limerence” that we can teach you about.
Now, sometimes people say, “Well, can we get past it? If my spouse is having an emotional affair with somebody else, or if I am having an emotional affair with somebody else, is there any way we can grow past this?” And the answer is: absolutely. It will be based on your decision and whatever decision your spouse makes. And also, not just the decision, but what you do. You can do certain things that will lead to overcoming an emotional affair, or even a sexual affair, and put your marriage back together, making it stronger than ever before.
In this episode, Dr. Joe Beam explains the differences between physical affairs, emotional affairs, and limerence. You’ll learn what to do if you or your spouse has had an affair and what you can do to start repairing your marriage.
This is a three-part series so make sure you tune in each week as Dr. Joe talks about the stages of affairs and how you can turn your marriage around.
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Common questions
Is kissing someone else an emotional affair?
It usually falls under what people call an emotional affair. That typically means no regular sex, though there may have been holding hands, hugging, or even kissing, while a sexual affair includes whatever you consider to be sex.
Can an affair be both emotional and physical?
Yes. Dr. Joe teaches a third category called limerence, and in this episode he explains the differences between physical affairs, emotional affairs, and limerence.
Can a marriage recover from an emotional affair?
It can. It depends on the decisions you and your spouse make and on what you do, because certain actions lead to overcoming an emotional or even a sexual affair and putting your marriage back together.