How Do You Handle Gaslighting In A Relationship?
The first thing to do is to ensure that what you are remembering, thinking, and doing is reality and not fantasy. Your spouse will imply that you fantasized or dreamed up the situation. So, to make sure you remember correctly, start keeping a journal.
Write everything down about your day that you need to remember. Anything that your spouse says or does, write it down. Your spouse won’t be able to argue against the facts that you’ve written down. After a while, you’ll have all the evidence that you need to combat any gaslighting in your relationship.
The second thing to do is pay more attention to their actions than their words. People who use gaslighting in a relationship are often quite fluent in language and can be very convincing. They are experts in logical and quick thinking, which helps them win most arguments. In addition, they appear to be sincere in everything they’re saying, which makes it very confusing. So, rather than listening to all those words, watch their behaviors. Then, add those behaviors to your journal as well.
Gaslighting Only Works If You Let It
Third, spend some time with people who can assure you that you’re ok and not going crazy. This doesn’t mean finding some friends who will just let you whine and complain and back up everything you say. Instead, find people you can be around that let you be the real you. You’ll be able to see that you can still think, feel, and act in a normal way in this setting.
Being away from the person gaslighting you will help you keep your own identity. Gaslighting in a relationship often sees the gaslighter trying to isolate you from anyone who might give you more information about what they’re doing. This can mean friends, family, and even people at your place of work. No matter how hard they push, staying in contact with those closest to you can help you feel normal again.
You don’t have to let gaslighting in a relationship work, no matter how glib your partner might be. Instead, you can keep it from working by staying connected to reality. Use the steps we’ve outlined in this article and anything else that helps you stay grounded.
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