Let me guess... your spouse is cold and distant. You feel like everything revolves around what your spouse wants. Your spouse may seemingly lack empathy or an awareness of how his or her reactions affect others. The list goes on and on. In fact, when you Google these things, everything you read points to the fact that your spouse is a narcissist...
You have the ability to make different choices today. Even if you got off track once.. or twice.. or even seven times, you have the ability to get back on track. You can do this. You can stay on track even when life is trying to throw things at you.
It IS possible to stand for your marriage alone. Now, it might seem impossible, it might seem crazy, (and you might not know where to start) but it can just take one spouse wanting to save the marriage to actually start saving the marriage. But what more can you do? Where do you start!?
One of Jim’s clients called him extremely distressed, saying, “Jim, I need to talk to you RIGHT now. This is an emergency.” As they began to speak, Jim learned that his client’s wife had just contacted him one day ago, saying, “I am filing for divorce.” It’s a total shock- when your spouse tells you they are filing for divorce it’s definitely a traumatic life event.
You shouldn’t have…but you did. You went looking through your spouse’s stuff and stumbled upon something that shocked you. Or maybe you want to snoop... you think your spouse is hiding something!
Limerence is the feeling of being madly in love, but is it true love or a chemically produced feeling that doesn't produce a long term relationship? Dr. Beam discusses these topics and related details in this informative video.
Here at Marriage Helper, we’ve worked with thousands of couples in many different marriage situations. From control issues, to affairs, to communication issues… whatever the situation may be, we’ve discovered that there are some foundational things that are happening in the majority of marriages we work with. Most of the time, there are behaviors that one spouse is doing that are working against the marriage.
One question we get all the time is, “How do I use SMART Contact if I have kids?” If you and your spouse have a family, the thought of going days or weeks without talking to your spouse is more than painful- it’s scary! You’re not just thinking about you- you’re also thinking about your children… “How is it going to affect them if they don’t hear from their mom or their dad for an extended period of time?” Because children are involved, we want to help you implement SMART Contact in the best way.
The Holidays can be some of the most difficult and lonely times of the year, especially if your spouse is completely disengaged. Maybe your spouse stopped talking to you, or you’re separated, or you’re in the middle of a divorce… Whatever your situation may be, SMART Contact is the BEST way to communicate with your spouse, no matter what has happened. If anything works to bring back your spouse and get them to open up, this will.
It’s very common- searching for exact words to say (and exact words not to say) in order to keep your spouse from leaving- or to win your spouse back. In fact, many things out there claim there is “one word,” or there is “one phrase” you can use to win your spouse back. Here’s the hard truth: there is no exact word or phrase. But here’s the good news: there are things you can do if you’re in this situation, there is hope!