The Rejecting Spouse
Does your spouse say, “You aren’t fulfilling me sexually”? Or, “If you really loved me, you would want to make love with me.”
If so, you probably have a reason why you are refusing sex. Are you refusing sex because you aren’t interested in doing what your spouse wants to do sexually? Or are you not interested in having it as often as they would like?
Whatever the reason may be, if you want to make love, that is your right. And, if you don’t want to make love, that is also your right.
However, if your spouse is genuinely sexually unfulfilled, and you refuse to be a vital part of their sex life, your marriage could end. How can we say this?!
Dr. Joe Beam earned his Ph.D. studying the correlation between marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. Researchers and therapists have a worldwide consensus that marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction are strongly connected.
Over time, sexual rejection feels like a personal rejection. Your spouse may be wondering: “Am I not good enough?” Or, “Do you not love me?” This situation is unfortunate because, at the core, sex is a deeply personal connection with your spouse. It is a loving connection, a longing to be one with someone who also wants to be one with you.
So, what is the best approach? Here are three suggestions.
Timing Is Important
Analyze when it’s a good thing to reject sexually and when it may NOT be a good thing to do. Consider the physical, emotional, and moral well-being of yourself and your spouse.
Communicate With Your Spouse
Speak from your heart. Listen. Talk about what you FEEL and explain why. Offer alternatives.
Have sensitivity toward the sexual difficulties between you two because of your past or spouse’s past. Be supportive.
If you know or heavily suspect that sexual issues in your marriage originate from problems in your relationship, please get in touch with us. We will connect you with the best resources that can help.
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