Marriage Almost Miserable? 5 Things To Do Now!
The short answer
If your marriage is almost miserable, start with five steps: stop the fighting by refusing to join in and staying calm, take a hit to your pride by admitting your faults and apologizing, focus on changing yourself through your PIES (physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual), reach out for support so you aren’t fighting alone, and get professional help.
Key takeaways
- When your spouse tries to pick a fight, refuse to join in and stay calm so you become the safe place.
- Swallow your pride: admit your own faults, apologize, and move on without dwelling on them.
- You cannot fix your spouse, so put your energy into your own PIES: physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual.
- Fighting for your marriage is hard, so lean on a support group and get professional help instead of going it alone.
Every day thousands of people look to us to find help in bettering their marriages.
We receive countless phone calls, emails, and even Facebook messages from across the world telling us their marriage problems.
We have heard everything.
From communication issues to affairs, addictions, etc. You name it, we have heard it.
We decided to come up with a short and simple tried and true list to help you begin the process of moving your marriage away from being miserable and towards being strong, happy and fulfilling.
Step One: Stop the fighting.
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
If your spouse is trying to engage in a fight with you.. Simply, don’t join. Stay calm & collected.
Eventually, they will come down to your level.
Focus on being the “safe place.” They will soon realize that they want to be on your level of calm.
If you would like more information on how to be this safe place, learn how to be a safe place during an affair.
Step Two: Get ready to take a hit to your pride.
We know… Your spouse is FAR from perfect. You on the other hand are quite perfect. ;) Can I get a witness?! Just kidding! No one is perfect.
Admit your faults. Apologize. Move on. Don’t dwell on these.
Step Three: Focus on YOU.
During this time you are going to want to “fix” your spouse. You can’t.
You can only change you. Dive deep into your PIES.
Become the most attractive version of you possible!
Not just physically either. Intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.
We tend to forget that our spouse’s weren’t just attracted to us on a physical aspect. They fell in love with us for our mind, the emotions we evoke in them and our hearts.
Need more information on PIES?? Check out the AWESOME bootcamp we put together dedicated to attracting your spouse back… see our courses
PS- I don’t care what they say.. They WERE once attracted to you.. They CAN be again. Just work on those PIES!
Step Four: Reach out for support.
It is normal to feel alone during this time.
I assure you, you are NOT alone.
If you are looking for support please look into joining our Save My Marriage Group on Facebook.
Here you will find people in similar situations, fighting the good fight with you.
You will be able to hear stories of hope, find encouragement & renew your strength.
Fighting for your marriage is HARD.
Possibly one of the hardest things you will do. Especially if you are fighting “alone.”
Lean on us for support during this time.
Step Five: Get professional help.
At this point, you have done everything you can.
It’s time to relax and let the pros help.
We recommend you bringing your spouse to the Couples Workshop.
The workshop is all about how to understand yourselves and each other and how to become aware of what the future will bring based on your decisions. While it doesn’t have a 100% success rate, 70% of marriages are saved.
That’s pretty high, don’t you think?
Not convinced you can get your spouse to the workshop? We can help you find your next step. Take our free LovePath quiz if you would like more information.
If you would like more information on how you can implement these steps in your marriage, listen to the Dr. Joe Show for an AMAZING podcast by Dr. Beam and his wife, Alice.
Common questions
How do I stop fighting with my spouse?
When your spouse tries to start a fight, simply don’t join in. Stay calm and collected and focus on being the safe place, which gives your spouse room to come down to your level of calm.
Can I fix my spouse?
No. You can only change you, so put your energy into becoming the most attractive version of yourself, physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Your spouse fell in love with your mind, the emotions you evoked and your heart, not just your looks.
Where can I find support while I fight for my marriage?
It is normal to feel alone, but you are not. The Save My Marriage Group on Facebook connects you with people in similar situations, where you can hear stories of hope and find encouragement.