can a relationship go back to normal after cheating

Can a relationship go back to normal after cheating? That’s a big question. Cheating significantly impacts your relationship in more ways than one. There is a loss of trust, a feeling of betrayal, hurt, anger, anxiety…just a complete mix of complicated emotions to sort through. In today’s society of technology, social media, and new ways of connecting, humans are more accessible to each other than ever before. Cheating has become the norm as more relationships fail from infidelity every day. The best way to prevent the possibility of cheating is through practiced awareness. 

Awareness applies to marriages and individuals who have cheated on their partners. In a marriage, being aware of your feelings, how you and your partner interact, and communicating are ways of knowing where your relationship stands and how to improve it. For couples working through cheating, be aware of why it happened, how your relationship got there, and what you can do to fix it if your marriage feels broken. 


Think About This Question Before You Want Your Relationship Back to Normal

If you’re reading this, chances are you are looking for something to help get your relationship back to “normal.” Think about this question first, “What is normal?” There are many reasons why people cheat. Most of the time, it is because someone in the relationship doesn’t feel liked, loved, or respected. Realize that an affair is a symptom of a much bigger problem. If your spouse cheated, there’s a reason behind their actions. 

Do you want to go back to the normal that caused the cheating to begin with? If the marriage lacked something that sparked the infidelity, going back to that regular life is not the answer. We never want our marriage to feel okay or pretty good. None of us are normal in this world. We are imperfect and hide our genuine emotions the majority of the time. So how do we get past this? 


Ask Yourself Can A Marriage Be Better Than It Was Before? 

You want to forgive your spouse for cheating or get your spouse to forgive you. If you’re going to wake up together and move past this event as if it never happened, that’s impossible. The fact is, it did happen. It was a significant event that changed your life and relationship, so going back to normal is not the end goal. 

The idea is can a marriage be better than it was before, and how? Significant events happen in relationships that can change it forever, the birth of a child, losing a loved one, losing a job, or moving to a new state. Things occur every day that change us for good, so working with your new standard is the best way to create a stronger partnership. Don’t think about what you had then, but what you have now. 

Based on scientific research at Marriage Helper, relationships are ten times stronger after getting past a challenging circumstance like cheating. It may feel hard to believe because you’re hurt or overwhelmed with disbelief, but there is hope. Your relationship cannot go back to normal, but you can create a better one for your future. Now, remember, this isn’t an instant effect like something you pop in the oven, and it’s done. It takes time, effort, and self-reflection from what you both have learned. 

The road is long, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Reconciliation is a process and often difficult to achieve for couples by themselves. You can’t just move past the cheating and hope for the best. That’s what makes reconciliation so tricky. Commonly, try to forget the occurrence and move past it. This method is usually unsuccessful because of built-up resentment. To save your marriage and actually forgive, couples need to process these questions: 

  • How did this happen?
  • Why did this happen?
  • How can we put the marriage back together?
  • What are some ways to feel secure that it won’t happen again?
  • How can we learn to trust each other again? 

Participating in counseling or couples therapy are ways to sort out your feelings without blowing up in anger. The truth is easier to handle in an anger-less non-judgmental environment. With the right tools and resources, you can save your marriage for the long term. 


How Do I Get My Relationship Back To Normal After Cheating? 

Going back to an old lifestyle after cheating is not possible, but working together to overcome your obstacles is. There is a lot of pain and frustration attached when a spouse acts dishonestly. If you were the spouse that was cheated on, you might not want to fix the relationship at all, which is a typical feeling. Taking the time to evaluate your emotions is necessary. A practice to help guide your thought process is to think about motive. 

Ask yourself, “Is my spouse a good person that did a bad thing?” Cheating is not usually a malicious event. On many occasions, it’s the result of a deep-rooted problem in the relationship for months or years. It’s easier to mend a broken relationship if both parties want to work through it, but if your spouse refuses to take you back, there are strategies to fix this. 


Learn about The Marriage Helper Team Strategies on How to Win Your Spouse Back

When there’s a will, there is always a way. Whether you want to reconcile your marriage or you’re the spouse that wants out, we offer resources to help you. There is no such thing as going back to normal after cheating, but we can make it different, healing, and better than before. We have worked with thousands of couples. Some are on the verge of divorce, others whose spouses have left them, and even couples who haven’t spoken in years. We have infinite tools for saving your marriage, including our podcasts, workshops like our couple workshops, also FREE MINI COURSE

This mini-course is essential if you want to learn how to be better in your marriage and ultimately win your spouse back. Contact us to book a free strategy call with our representatives. Our reps will guide you to the resources that best match your situation in this call. We want to help you save your marriage. Let’s start this process together.