If you caught your spouse cheating and you’ve had enough, this is for you. We get it. You are at the end of your rope with your spouse and their actions. Discovering your spouse is unfaithful is never a good feeling. What’s even worse is if you’ve experienced their infidelity more than once. You may question, “what did I do wrong? How can someone I love hurt me this badly?” Even the end-all-be-all question, “should I stay or should I go?” If you are considering IF or WHEN to walk away after infidelity, today we have the answers to your questions.
Infidelity isn’t more common among any specific gender. Research shows women are just as likely to cheat as men. When we get married, we hope our spouse will never betray us, but sometimes infidelity comes as a surprise that we never saw coming. If you believe your spouse is being distant, it might be a lack of communication, or perhaps an affair is taking place. Before jumping to conclusions, we outlined the 5 signs your spouse is cheating. If you have confirmed their dishonesty, consider these ideas before deciding when to walk away after infidelity.
If I Caught My Spouse Cheating, Does That Make Them a Bad Person?
There are many factors to weigh before walking away from your relationship. One thing to consider is your spouse’s character. What type of person is your spouse? What was your relationship like before the infidelity? Was it loving and full of laughter, or kind and cordial for the most part? In life, we make choices that significantly impact our lives, but we always urge our clients to ask themselves this; “Is my spouse a good person that did a bad thing, or a bad person that did a bad thing? It’s normal if your first thought is,” Well, they cheated on me, so that makes them a bad person.”
Think more deeply about who they were before the cheating occurred. If your spouse is attempting to reconcile the relationship, chances are they still love you deeply and wish to become better.
You caught your spouse cheating, and you’re thinking about leaving. Before doing that, judge them based on the quality of their character. Is your spouse a good person that just did a bad thing?
Before Walking Away After Infidelity Think About the 10, 10, 10 Rule
Divorce has long-term effects on both your relationships and your health. According to marriage helper research, married couples live longer and experience better mental health states. If you are unhappy in your marriage, we’re not persuading you to stay. We tell couples to consider how leaving their spouse will affect them in the long run. Consider the 10,10,10 rule. This rule is based on three questions when couples are in crisis:
- How would this affect my life 10 days from now?
- How would this affect my life 10 months from now?
- How would this affect my life 10 years from now?
The 10,10,10 rule is essential to consider for your life and your children’s as well if you have any. Divorce can affect children into their adult years, impacting their future relationships. If you believe you can get through an obstacle with your spouse 10 months and even 10 years from now, then pausing your decision and potentially seeking marriage advice is a benefitting option.
Leave Your Spouse and Walk Away After Infidelity If You Experience These Symptoms
Dishonesty is a hard thing to deal with, especially from your spouse. Going through the motions of saving your marriage or deciding when to leave poses a significant challenge to your mental health. These troubles may cause you to lose focus at work and affect your responsibilities to your kids and the people around you. If your spouse’s actions are causing harm to your health and family, it may be time to walk away. Some women and men experience illness from being stressed all the time. You begin to feel sick and cannot function properly to carry out your daily duties. You have to take medication for your anxiety, or you’re so emotionally distraught you cannot dwell with people in society.
If you have reached these negative points in your life, we recommend walking away. We do not mean the initial stages of grief where you possibly can’t eat, sleep, or concentrate. We mean long-term damage where these feelings affect you for months or even years of your life. Suppose you believe you have reached this breaking point in your life. In that case, we provide a self-help tool that teaches you how to become the most attractive version of yourself, physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. We call this the PIES of attraction with loads of tools and resources to help boost your appeal and confidence.
If You Want to Save Your Marriage But Your Spouse Does Not
Consider these important factors before you decide when to walk away after infidelity. Think about whether your spouse is a good person that did a bad thing, the 10,10,10 rule, and if the relationship is causing physical illness and dysfunction. At marriage helper, we believe marriage is worth fighting for. After working with thousands of couples, our 70% success rate shows that this will save your marriage if anything works.
We offer free resources like our podcasts that discuss relationships, reading customer questions, and stories from couples with similar problems. Choose from several options in FREE MINI-COURSE that match your exact situation, and learn how to start making things better. If you’ve exhausted your options and need professional help, our couples workshop will turn around your marriage problems. Experience a better connection with your spouse and see your relationship in ways you wouldn’t possibly believe. Our workshops provide couples with a deeper understanding of each other and guarantee it will impact your relationship for the better. Contact us here or call (615) 472-1161 to start living the life you deserve today.