How To Understand A Cold And Distant Spouse

If your spouse seems more cold and distant, it’s concerning. Everyone wants to have a good, warm relationship with their spouse; one where you’re enjoying your interactions, so it makes sense to feel concerned if you notice your spouse distancing themselves from you. You may be asking yourself, “What am I going to do about that?” Or, “How am I going to handle that?”

If you’re in a situation where your spouse is cold or distant, I want to share some understanding with you and provide you with some next steps.

  • Don’t Assume Their Behavior Is About You

First, don’t assume that the behavior you’re seeing in your spouse is about you. (And don’t put yourself in a negative, defensive mindset.) There may be a completely different reason why your spouse appears distant. Maybe it’s something from work, maybe it’s a conversation they had… Whatever it may be, assume that it’s not about you.

  • If You Ask Them, Believe Them!

Next, you can learn more about what’s going on. You can ask your spouse, “It appears that we seem a little disconnected. Is something wrong or did I do something wrong? Are you okay?” And if you ask them, believe them! Be prepared to believe their answer.

And what if your spouse says everything is fine? Then, continue life as normal! Don’t change what you’re doing. Don’t act guarded or treat them poorly, because these behaviors are what can actually affect your spouse in a negative way.

  • Work To Become The Best You Can Be

Only when you have different information from your spouse can you can react in a positive way to gain influence. So do not return coldness for coldness. Instead, be the best you can be physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Learn how to become a better you in each of these areas with the PIES Podcast.

“Only when you have different information from your spouse can you can react in a positive way to gain influence.”

You can also get one-on-one (or couples) coaching with a Marriage Helper Coach!

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