You’ve caught your husband looking at other women online. Do you scream, rant, cry, or throw things? While that might be an understandable response, it’s not the best way to try and solve the situation. Before we dive into how to handle it, let’s take a look at the reasons why your husband looks at other females online.
If It Bothers You, You Should Address It
If you’re wondering, “Why does my husband look at other women online?”, then the bottom line is you need to talk to him about it. There could be a variety of reasons why your husband looks at other females online. It could be that he’s looking at porn, looking for more visual stimulation, or perhaps he’s just looking for a friend. But how do you approach the situation?
The key is to start with curiosity. Screaming and demanding to know why they’re looking at other women is not likely to get an honest response. Reacting this way could lead to your husband being embarrassed, becoming defensive, and yelling right back at you. Instead of verbally attacking him, try and ask him what’s going on.
Start with being curious and ask, what are you doing? Being curious doesn’t mean that you’re condoning the behavior; you’re simply giving your husband the opportunity to share what is going on honestly.
Explain Your Feelings Using “I” Statements
The second thing you need to do if you’re wondering, “Why does my husband look at other women online?”, is to tell him how it makes you feel using “I” statements. Tell your husband how it makes you feel when he looks at other females online. For example, when I see you looking at other women online, I feel like I’m not attractive anymore, that you don’t love me, or that I’m not good enough.
Using “I” statements is far better than just telling him he’s a jerk and to stop it. You’re using the intimate connection that you hopefully have with your husband and allowing him to see how it is affecting you, and offering him the opportunity to change his behavior.
All Your Husband To Share How He Feels As Well
During this process, you may find out your husband is feeling disconnected from you intimately or perhaps sexually frustrated. Your husband looking at other women online might have been a way for him to compensate for a lacking he is feeling in his life. That does not mean that it’s your fault or excuse his behavior. Perhaps your husband is even dealing with a porn or sexual addiction that needs professional help.
Whatever the reasons might be, if the behavior doesn’t change, you’ll need to set some boundaries. And if none of this works and the behavior continues, you may have to choose to put some more rigid boundaries in place. We have plenty of resources on our website at marriagehelper.com that can guide you along the process of setting those boundaries.
Discovering The Root Of The Problem Is Key
It can be frustrating and heartbreaking to find your husband looking at other females online. But, one thing is for sure; it’s doubtful that this issue is the core problem. Instead, it’s probably a symptom of a lack of intimacy, a disconnect between the two of you, an addiction that he’s struggling with, or something else.
But there is hope. Following the few steps that we’ve given you is a good start. If you’re still struggling, we have a free mini-course that we created to teach you how to get your spouse to fall back in love with you. It’ll take you less than 30 minutes to go through it, and you’ll learn some excellent research-based principles that you can begin applying right now.