Don’t have your headphones or a private place to listen right now? Check out the article below!
Feeling alone is hard. No matter what is going on in your life. It is difficult. It is difficult to feel like you have no one to turn to, nowhere to go, and no one to go be with. You feel isolated.
Loneliness is hard when circumstances are “normal”- still being able to go to work or the gym. But loneliness is even more difficult when you don’t have control over what’s happening in your external circumstances. And, depending on when you’re reading this, it’s in the middle of COVID-19… being in quarantine and social distancing…
How Can I Deal With Being So Alone Right Now?
During this crazy time, one of the things we often hear from our Marriage Helper Community is the question, “How can I deal with being so alone right now?”
It’s hard enough if you already felt alone because of what’s happening in your marriage or your situation. And then now… circumstances have made it to where you can’t even leave your house!
Loneliness, on top of loneliness, on top of loneliness… It all adds up to where you can feel isolated, forgotten, and unneeded (but you’re not!). But I understand that you feel that way.
Because so many are struggling with this, we asked our Marriage Helper Community, “How have you been dealing with loneliness during this time? How have you used this time to overcome struggles, focus on growth, and become the best “you” that you can be?”
I understand that because of loneliness, it can easily lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and mental health issues that a lot of us can deal with at times. And I want you to know that that is okay.
We have a recent post on how anxiety affects your marriage. Learn practical things you can start doing TODAY to help take your anxiety under control & turn it around. Check it out here: https://marriagehelper.com/how-anxiety-affects-marriage-erh/
We also have a resource on how depression affects a marriage. Read our post to learn the 3 things with the highest “efficacy rate” to help a person get past (and get through) depression: https://marriagehelper.com/how-depression-affects-marriage-in-crisis-fxb/
No matter what you are specifically dealing with and struggling with, here’s what I want you to know: your current state right now does not define you as a person.
Whether you are struggling with anxiety, depression, and/or feelings of loneliness, these are not titles that are given to you as a person. They do not define your identity. They are simply what you are struggling with right now. We’re all struggling with something.
If you’re struggling with loneliness, we hope you are encouraged and inspired by the following stories from the MH Community (from people just like you!) as they are doing AMAZING things to fight against loneliness! (Also, we hope their stories give you ideas of things you can start doing to fight loneliness.)
“Take every day to learn more about yourself because you’re worth it.”
Hi, my name is Bianca and I am quarantined in New Jersey with my four kids at home. Some things that I’ve been doing so the time could pass is those projects that I said, “I never had time for…” bathroom renovation projects, pretty much painting every room in the house, reorganizing. I try to take two hours a day to play the piano. I downloaded a piano app.
This is the time to really get to know yourself and really get to know your kids. Even listening to some podcasts on your phone, watching some Netflix series, things that you just never had time to do before. It’s just the perfect time to do it now. And, it gives you dialogue to talk to your friends, to your spouse about. I now know that I’m able to do more than I thought I was able to do before. So, my recommendation is, we might never get this free time again, run with it. Do all those projects you never thought you’d be able to do because you probably can do it. Take every day to learn more about yourself because you’re worth it.
“…if you’re always comfortable, you’ll never have the opportunity to grow.”
Some of the things I’ve been doing to keep myself occupied is exercising, giving an opportunity to hang out with my dog, and spend time in the woods and nature. Other things I’ve been doing… I listen to a lot of spiritual radio and positive messages. One thing I’ve been trying to repeat in my head that I’ve heard as a message from God, if you’re always comfortable, you’ll never have the opportunity to grow. So maybe this is that uncomfortable moment in my life that is going to help me grow and be better.
“I said, ‘You know what? I need to get together with my friends.’ ” (On Zoom!)
I said, ‘You know what? I need to get together with my friends.’ So I created a zoom party. I called it my virtual party and I invited a bunch of people and we just all got on zoom and had a good time. It was so good to just be able to see people’s facial expressions when they’re talking. To see their smile, watch them laugh because you don’t see people laugh when you’re texting a lot.
Other than that, I’ve been going on late night walks. I am a night owl. I’ve been doing late night walks and I’ve been doing a lot of napping. There’s nothing wrong with a good nap… Also doing a lot of cooking… and a lot of eating, unfortunately. We’ll deal with that one when we’re not on lock down anymore, I guess.
“If you do things for others, it takes your mind off your problems and yourself.”
Hello! I wanted to share with you what I’ve been doing to overcome loneliness during the quarantine. Isolation is a huge trigger for me and depression. So what I’ve been doing is walking, praying, and watching the marriage helper PIES and SMART Contact videos (and watching them again because there’s probably a bunch of things I missed).
I’m also reading “Your Love Path” by Dr. Joe beam. I am crafting and making crafts and cards for other people because I find that if you do for others, it takes your mind off your problems and yourself. And that has been huge for me.
Take This As An Opportunity
I love everything that these people are doing. They are working on themselves. They are taking this time that could be a time of frustration, sorrow, being completely down on themselves, having all the pity parties… But they’ve turned it into an opportunity to see the silver lining, to make the lemonade out of the lemons, to do the things that they know that they need to do and to reframe these situations and make something beautiful out of them!
But how about you? Where do you start? Think about the questions below; get your ideas flowing:
What are some ways you can start working on yourself or working on your situation?
What are ways you can start doing something, being proactive, even if you may not feel like it at first?
Take this as an opportunity to do things you’ve wanted to do. Remember to give yourself grace. You’re not going to turn into Rosie the Riveter or Jack the handyman overnight and that’s okay.
Focus on doing just one thing. Take small steps. Every step is one step closer to becoming the best version of “you” that you can be
We Are Here For You!
Here at Marriage Helper, we want to encourage you and give you hope every single day! Our Marriage Helper Community is here to support you wherever you are. Whether you’re in a state where you’re separated from your spouse or with your spouse, quarantined with your spouse, we have resources for you.
During this time, we have expanded our resources to help you in the best possible way.
For more information on the Live, Couples Online Workshop visit: https://marriagehelper.com/online-workshop/
For more information on the Live, Solo Spouse Workshop visit: https://marriagehelper.com/solo-spouse-workshop/
We can’t wait to connect with you. We can’t wait to help you and your marriage with whatever needs you have right now. And most of all, we can’t wait to hear how you have used this time to grow, to become a better person and to become the best version of you that you can be. We want to celebrate the amazing things you’re doing!
Take this time to become the best version of yourself. Check out our PIES Bootcamp here!