The best thing we could do in times of need when we're stuck is to look for someone who's outside of our emotions.
Many people have asked, “How can I practice SMART Contact while I’m social distancing?!” In this article, we’ll give you some Social-Distancing-SMART-Contact-Tips so you can have better communication, less marriage tension, and healthy boundaries (whether you’re separated OR stuck at home with your spouse).
It IS possible to stand for your marriage alone. Now, it might seem impossible, it might seem crazy, (and you might not know where to start) but it can just take one spouse wanting to save the marriage to actually start saving the marriage. But what more can you do? Where do you start!?
The other night, as I was pouring a glass of red wine, I asked my husband, “Do you EVER struggle with anxiety?” In a kind of sarcastic tone… It had been one of those days. Which, in this day and age, seems to be every day. Right? The news was all terrible. Social media was a cluster. Everyone was losing their minds… (myself probably included.) The kids’ school had been cancelled for two weeks, there was a lot of noise in the house, and we couldn’t go anywhere because everything was shut down. And my anxiety was THROUGH THE ROOF.
My husband shared a meme with me yesterday which said, “With no sports on TV due to March Sadness. I got to know my wife. She’s actually really nice. Works in the medical field.” We laughed. For a minute. And then I thought… it’s a little too true for comfort. If you’re reading this article on the day we posted it… then you are probably stuck at home, with the rest of America (or half of the world) with your husband or your wife. Quarantined. And even if your marriage is fine, being stuck in a house with your spouse and maybe even your kids for the never-ending foreseeable future can be overwhelming… (and stressful!)
Dr. Joe Beam: Kimberly, I want to talk about one thing today which lends to your area of psychology. When we work with couples who are dealing with marriage difficulties, often we'll find that one, if not both of the spouses, would be depressed. I've actually got a definition here from the American Psychiatric Association website. Let's talk about how it affects relationships and particularly with marriage difficulties. According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression is a major depressive disorder. That seems redundant somehow, doesn't it?
Kimberly Holmes: At Marriage Helper, we have been able to work with thousands of couples from around the world. We've been able to see the intimate details a lot of times, of what ended up causing (or leading up to) the crisis they ended up having in their marriage. In fact, a lot of times a crisis that happens in a marriage, is predicated by some kind of loss in one or both of the spouses' lives.
Why is it that when we have troubles in our marriage we automatically think, “Let’s go to marriage counseling...” It’s the thing you do, right? I mean, it’s all you hear about from family, friends, or just society in general. We feel like it’s what we need to do if our marriage is in crisis. And, it seems to be the only option that’s there... But we want you to know that marriage counseling may not be what you truly need! We'll explain 3 things you may not know about counseling and how it works so you can decide if it’s what you should do to save your marriage.