You have the ability to make different choices today. Even if you got off track once.. or twice.. or even seven times, you have the ability to get back on track. You can do this. You can stay on track even when life is trying to throw things at you.
It IS possible to stand for your marriage alone. Now, it might seem impossible, it might seem crazy, (and you might not know where to start) but it can just take one spouse wanting to save the marriage to actually start saving the marriage. But what more can you do? Where do you start!?
No matter which situation you are coming from and no matter what situation your marriage is in, I want to give you some hope.
The other night, as I was pouring a glass of red wine, I asked my husband, “Do you EVER struggle with anxiety?” In a kind of sarcastic tone… It had been one of those days. Which, in this day and age, seems to be every day. Right? The news was all terrible. Social media was a cluster. Everyone was losing their minds… (myself probably included.) The kids’ school had been cancelled for two weeks, there was a lot of noise in the house, and we couldn’t go anywhere because everything was shut down. And my anxiety was THROUGH THE ROOF.
My husband shared a meme with me yesterday which said, “With no sports on TV due to March Sadness. I got to know my wife. She’s actually really nice. Works in the medical field.” We laughed. For a minute. And then I thought… it’s a little too true for comfort. If you’re reading this article on the day we posted it… then you are probably stuck at home, with the rest of America (or half of the world) with your husband or your wife. Quarantined. And even if your marriage is fine, being stuck in a house with your spouse and maybe even your kids for the never-ending foreseeable future can be overwhelming… (and stressful!)
Dr. Joe Beam: Kimberly, I want to talk about one thing today which lends to your area of psychology. When we work with couples who are dealing with marriage difficulties, often we'll find that one, if not both of the spouses, would be depressed. I've actually got a definition here from the American Psychiatric Association website. Let's talk about how it affects relationships and particularly with marriage difficulties. According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression is a major depressive disorder. That seems redundant somehow, doesn't it?
Recently, I interacted with a couple... The wife had a very strong personality and the husband was more laid back. Now that doesn't make her better than him or him worse than her, that's not what we're talking about here. It's just very different temperaments, very different ways of approaching life.
They say that, “The first crisis many couples face in their marriage is the birth of a first child.” (And I can say with experience, that is probably pretty true.) Over this past year, my husband and I became parents for the first time, and I can tell you we’ve had quite the experience...
Kimberly Holmes: At Marriage Helper, we have been able to work with thousands of couples from around the world. We've been able to see the intimate details a lot of times, of what ended up causing (or leading up to) the crisis they ended up having in their marriage. In fact, a lot of times a crisis that happens in a marriage, is predicated by some kind of loss in one or both of the spouses' lives.
If you're wondering... “How am I supposed to talk to my spouse when they won’t talk to me?” Or, “What do I do when we’re in the middle of a fight, separation, or divorce?” this is for YOU.