Your Spouse’s Affair Doesn’t Mean Your Marriage Is Over
Several years ago, my friend Amber’s husband was working long shifts at work. Amber and her husband had one baby at home, another on the way, and life just got really stressful for them. One day, her husband came home and said, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m in love with someone else.” Then, he packed his bags, and left – for 10 months. Amber was home with these kids, one on the way, and one in her arms, and she had no idea what to do. She knew that she loved her husband, but she also knew that you can’t trust someone who’s having an affair.
How Can You Save A Marriage When One Spouse Wants Out?
So, how can you save a marriage? How can you save a marriage when one spouse wants out? Amber wondered this as well. She felt completely hopeless and had no idea what to do. And, the people in Amber’s life, the friends who found out about what was going on, likely told her to leave. Because that’s the message we hear in society. However, we believe that your spouse’s affair doesn’t mean your marriage is over.
Know That Divorce Isn’t Your Only Option, And That Your Marriage Can Actually Be Saved!
Now hear me out- I’m not saying that your spouse’s affair is reason to stay in your marriage. I’m not saying it’s justified and I’m not condoning the action. Affairs are wrong. But typically, divorce is the first thing people turn to when this happens. They think the only option to turn to is, to get a divorce. And there’s not another option ever presented, they never hear that there’s another way- that your marriage actually CAN be saved. And that’s when Amber found Marriage Helper! She discovered the things that we teach.
At Marriage Helper, we show people how they can still save their marriage even if there’s been an affair. Even if this has happened, your marriage can even be made better than before. You can recover from this! Because one thing is for sure, all affairs will end. And Amber wanted to be the person who stood for her marriage, who made things work, and became the best person she could be so she could have the marriage she knew could be possible.
Amber applied the Marriage Helper principles. And finally, ultimately, she got her husband to agree to go to the Marriage Helper Workshop after asking her husband every other week for 10 months. They came to our turnaround marriage helper weekend. And after that weekend, did he come home? Not yet. It took several more months until he finally ended his affair (because affairs always end) came back home, and they worked it out. Today, they have a beautiful family, and they have a third child, born out of their reconciliation and restoration! And all of this happened because Amber loved her husband, believed her marriage had a future better than what she could currently see, and believed in the power of forgiveness.
And I believe one of the things we are missing in society right now is forgiveness. Forgiveness is being able to see another person’s point of view, not trying to take revenge on someone who hurt us, and learning how to be the better person; to unconditionally love, to listen, to forgive, and empathize. (Now, that’s not to say we become a doormat and don’t instill boundaries, or don’t protect ourselves, because you can have boundaries and still love other people.)
And forgiveness is what I see happening with the people that we work with at Marriage Helper! At Marriage Helper, we continue to provide amazing, relationship content that encourages you. Content that’s based in hope and in truth, and validated by research principles. So all of it works.
There Is Another Way, There Is Hope!
At Marriage Helper, we want to encourage you to do the best things that you can, to become the best you can be, and to have the best relationship that’s possible for you. Because at Marriage Helper, we want to help you create a strong marriage, whatever that looks like. And we believe that an affair does not have to be the end of a marriage.
In fact, I believe affairs don’t have to end a marriage, because if my parents had believed that I wouldn’t be here. If they believed once an affair happened, you had to move on, you had to divorce, and you shouldn’t try to restore the relationship, then I wouldn’t even be alive! And, Marriage Helper wouldn’t even exist! So hear this, there is a future for you on the other side even though what you’re going through right now causes such hurt and pain.
I understand the hurt and the pain that you’re going through. If your spouse has had, or is currently having an affair, I am so sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with the pain that you’re going through right now. My heart honestly does break for you.
I can’t change what your spouse is doing. You can’t change what your spouse is doing. What I can do is help you to see that there is another way. You don’t have to believe that there’s no hope. You don’t have to file for divorce. You don’t have to listen to your friends and family who love you and want to protect you, but you don’t have to listen to them when they’re saying, “leave him, leave her, move on once a cheater, always a cheater.”
And, you can believe that there is forgiveness. There is redemption for relationships, and there is a reconciliation that can lead to a stronger relationship than ever before! Affairs can be forgiven. Should they have happened? No. But can they be overcome and moved on from? Yes! And at Marriage Helper, we want to show you how to do that. We want to show you that there is another way.
Now, we are never going to recommend that you stay in a marriage you ultimately want to leave. We believe in saving marriages, and in creating strong marriages, but we’re not going to “strong arm” you into being in a situation you don’t want to be in.
However, if you’re the person who’s saying, “I still love my spouse.” And you’re looking for a way to try and make it work, even though everyone else is telling you, “There’s no chance.” Then we can teach you how to save your marriage. We can’t guarantee it, but if anything works, this will.
We have worked with thousands of couples. And over the past 21 years, we’ve taught our workshop, and over 250,000 people have been affected by Marriage Helper in some way- by going through our courses, trainings, or teachings. And our workshop specifically, has a 77% success rate at saving marriages. (And just to put that in perspective, counseling has a 30 to 50% success rate.) We have a 77% success rate.
And we also offer a free mini course on how to get your spouse to talk to you. So if you’re in a position right now where you’re saying, “My spouse is in an affair, they won’t talk to me. I don’t even know if I want to talk to them.” Then we teach you some key principles in how to communicate with your spouse, and how to begin working on yourself. Teaching you how to become the best that you can be, no matter what happens. All of this is in the free mini course, which you can get by clicking here.
The bottom line is we believe there’s hope for your marriage, one hundred percent. And if you are willing to invest the time and energy into becoming the best you can be, and seeing a vision for the possibility of what your marriage could be… even though your current reality is saying, there’s no hope… then we are here to help you! To guide you. To show you exactly what you can do to have a stronger marriage than ever before.
So if nothing else, please hear this encouragement: Your spouse’s affair doesn’t mean your marriage is over.
That story I told at the beginning about Amber? That doesn’t just have to be Amber’s story- and it’s not! I could name many other people that exact experience has happened too. And it can be your story too. Your spouse’s affair doesn’t mean your marriage is over.
At Marriage Helper, we are here to help you have that strong marriage. You can click here and join our free mini course.
If you want to call and speak to one of our team members about the services that we offer, our coaching, our online courses, or our turnaround weekend, then you can call our office at (866) 903-0990. But whatever you do, do something that is going to move you toward saving your marriage and creating a strong one, because I believe that you can do it.