Your Spouse Just Walked Out… Here’s What To Do Next
The short answer
When your spouse walks out, the first thing to do is regain control of your emotions: do not panic, yell, or keep trying to convince them to stay, because that can push them to leave faster. Physical activity like walking, running, or yoga can lower anxiety and help you think clearly, while drinking can make things worse.
Key takeaways
- The first step after your spouse leaves is to get your own emotions under control so you can think clearly.
- Pleading, yelling, or trying to talk your spouse into staying can push them out the door faster.
- Walking, running, or yoga can calm the fear response in your brain, even if it does not remove all the anxiety.
- Be careful with alcohol or anything else you might misuse, since it can make a hard situation worse.
Your spouse has just walked out. While it seems like the world around you is falling apart and nothing is going your way, there is hope. Through countless stories of reconciliation that we’ve seen over the years, we are here to walk through this with you. In this episode, Dr. Joe and Kimberly will walk you through the simple steps, things to do and not to do, after your spouse has decided to leave.
Losing a spouse or significant other is a tough experience, and it is natural to feel panic when they leave. However, in such a situation, it is essential not to panic and do things that will only propel the other person to leave faster. In this blog, we will discuss what you can do if your spouse just walked out the door.
The first thing you need to do is regain control of your emotions. This may seem ridiculous, but it is crucial to help you think more clearly. Try to find some inner peace, stop trying to convince the other person to stay, and do not yell or scream. Instead, focus on yourself and what you need to do to save the relationship.
Physical activities such as walking, running, or doing yoga can help reduce anxiety and tension. They can also clear your amygdala, the system in your brain that initiates the fear or flight response. Remember, physical activity does not take away all the anxiety or fear, but it can help you begin to think more clearly.
It is also essential to be careful with anything that you might misuse, such as drinking. Drinking may seem like an easy way to calm down, but it can make the situation worse.
The key takeaway is not to panic and focus on yourself rather than trying to convince your partner to stay. If you need help, reach out to professionals like us at Marriage Helper, who have been working with marriages for over 30 years. They can provide guidance and support during this challenging time.
If you’ve read or listened to this and are thinking I want to save my marriage with a team that has an over 70% success rate, sign up to talk with our team about attending a 3-day Couples Turn-Around Workshop. Learn more.
Common questions
How do I stop panicking after my spouse leaves?
Start by finding some inner peace and focusing on yourself instead of on getting your spouse to stay. Physical activity will not take away all the fear, but it can calm the fear response in your brain so you can begin to think more clearly.
Should I try to convince my spouse not to leave?
No. Dr. Joe and Dr. Kimberly explain that trying to talk your spouse into staying, yelling, or screaming tends to propel them to leave faster. Put that energy into yourself and what you need to do to save the relationship.
Is it okay to drink to cope when my spouse leaves?
Be careful with anything you might misuse, including alcohol. Drinking can seem like an easy way to calm down, but it can make the situation worse.