You are not quite sure how you got yourself into the affair, and even less sure about how to end an affair.You love your paramour but hate the sneaking and cheating. You vacillate between ending the affair and giving yourself totally to it. You feel intense emotions for your lover, but even as you tell yourself, or your lover, that everything is going to be wonderful, deep within a small voice says that it will not be.
It may be that somebody has told you that you're really not in love with this other person; that it's a fantasy, that it's infatuation, or that it will go away. I'm assuming, of course, that you're here because of the fact that you are trying to make a choice between whether to leave to be with your lover, or stay with your spouse. In other words, you're married, but you're thinking: