“Our problem,” he said, “is that everyone in my life listens to what I say and does what I tell them. Then I come home and it doesn’t work that way with my wife. I don’t like that.” She didn’t either. The comment was neither unexpected nor unusual.
Marriage and family therapists not only pinpoint a lack of communication as a source of marriage and family unhappiness, they also point out that bad communication in marriage causes unhappiness. To keep that from happening in your marriage, let’s look at some of the things that strong families have learned about good communication.
Question: Sometimes my husband tries to tell me how to do stuff and this really gets on my nerves; how can I tell him? Though it may appear minor, this indicates a possible major flaw in your relationship that can lead to extreme trouble.
It's when your spouse comes to you and says: "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Is it time to panic when you hear that? Actually it may be. I'm not trying to instill fear in you, but we talk about reality, and how you can really face life as it is.
Question: Should I reveal to my husband events from my past, even though I believe he could never find out about them? There is a threefold test I share with people who ask if they should tell their spouses either about their distant past, or about things that they’ve done since their marriages began.
Live long enough and you learn this lesson: Anyone might do anything in certain circumstances. Just as bad people do bad things, sometimes good people do bad things; not just “minor” things, such as the proverbial white lie, but major things.
