Everyone knows that marriage can be difficult, but do you feel like your spouse hates you?

This doesn’t have to be the end.

Why Does My Spouse Hate Me Toolkit


You feel like your spouse hates you. Maybe they’ve told you so. Or maybe they demonstrate it in the way they act toward you…or even some of the things they do when they’re away from you.

One reason it hurts so deeply is that you still love your mate. You want to be together. You want them to love you again they way they once did. This rejection you feel is painful to the core of your being. You’ve probably been wondering what you can do differently…or in your mind, reliving memories where you did do things differently than what you did in the moment. Perhaps you know why your spouse feels the way they do…you know that you caused a hurt which has now grown into loathing. Or maybe your situation is the opposite.

You can’t figure what it is that you did that deserves this kind of treatment. Sometimes you say that to yourself or your friends, “I DON’T DESERVE THIS!” If you feel any of these things, we have very good news for you.

People Demonstrate Hate In 3 Different Ways

Cold Hate

Cool Hate

Hot Hate

Maybe you’ve found yourself in the situation where your spouse hates you and is not willing to work on the marriage. Or maybe they have told you it – saying hurtful things like “they can’t wait to divorce you so they can be away from you”. They are angry and pushing you away, or what can feel worse –  ignoring you completely. 

You can’t understand how someone who once treated you so well, can now treat you so badly. You still love him or her and don’t want to lose your marriage. You feel hopeless, like things are too far gone. 

I’m so sorry you are experiencing this, I know it really hurts,  I want you to know that you are not alone. Here at Marriage Helper, we work with thousands of marriages in your exact situation every year. We have researched a lot about hate and want to help you understand it and find a different way of thinking about your situation, to find hope that your marriage can be restored. 

How The Toolkit Works

Through a series of videos and downloadable resources, you will learn that even if you feel that your spouse hates you right now, you can do and say things right now that can stop them hating you and turn that back into love again. 

Why Does My Spouse Hate Me Toolkit

Dr. Joe Beam will help you to understand where these feelings of hate may stem from and how the stories they are telling themselves about you can lead them to feel like this.

Marriage Helper Why Does My Spouse Hate Me Toolkit Mountain Lake

How Others Are Affected By And React To Hate

Contempt can be taught and anger can be intensified by others. Our minds can be molded to hate when others point out how the person that you’re married to violates their standards, and therefore, in all likelihood your standards. Dr. Beam will teach you how to add context to those thoughts and see things more clearly.

Hate Can Be Changed To Love

There’s no magic bullet. No cure all remedy. But, by following the principles outlined in this toolkit, you can get back the intimacy you’ve lost in your marriage.

Marriage Helper Why Does My Spouse Hate Me Toolkit Couple Crossing Street

Course Curriculum


This is where you begin understand how to turn hate back into love.

Lesson 1: What Is Hate?

Learn that hate is physiologically closely related to love.

Lesson 2: Negation Of Intimacy

Learn about how the negation of intimacy pulls us apart.

Lesson 3: Negation Of Passion

Find out what causes people to begin to crave distance.

Lesson 4: Negation Of Commitment

What is negative commitment and what to do about it.

Lesson 5: How Others Affect Hate

Discover how anger can be intensified by others.

Lesson 6: How To React To Hate

Learn how to stop doing things that negate intimacy in your marriage.

Lesson 7: Hate Can Be Changed To Love

There’s no magic bullet but you can build the intimacy back.

Marriage Helper Testimonial Hate Course Miguel

“At one point I said to myself “I just don’t want to be hurt anymore.” But I didn’t stop believing in us and in a miracle. And a miracle did happen. And today we can tell you that it is always the darkest right before dawn. Don’t give up because there is always hope. We know. We are living proof. Thank you, Marriage Helper. Hope this helps someone out there.”


In This Course You Will Learn:

  • To identify what hate is
  • How intimacy can be negated
  • How passion can be negated
  • How commitment can be negated
  • How others affect hate
  • How to react to hate
  • How hate can turn to love
  • How to find hope in your marriage again