Your husband left. Want To Know How You Could Bring Him Back?
With Kimberly Holmes
There Are False Promises Out There..
(0:00) There are some things that can work to bring your husband back when you’re separated (even if your husband isn’t talking to you right now). Now, here’s the thing. I know you’ve heard it all before. I know that you’ve seen the videos, the websites, the articles, and whatever else.
Maybe you’ve seen the people who promise “magic pills” or “guarantees” of, “Hey, say this one sentence and your husband will come running back to you.. lusting after you.. being sorry that he ever left.”
I HATE those false promises. People are just preying on you for your money.
I CAN’T STAND THAT!
As the CEO of Marriage Helper, I want you to know that we work with marriages and teach couples the best things that they can do.
We also teach you, the individual spouse, the best thing you can do in order to save your marriage. We’re not full of false promises or false “guarantees.” We’re very aware that there’s no magic pill to fix a marriage.
But, with the 200,000 plus people that have gone through our courses and seminars over the past 20 years, we have found what we teach actually works!
If you want to know the other things we teach, related to different situations you might be working on in your marriage, go ahead and subscribe to this channel. You’ll get alerts when new content comes out. Plus, you can see all of the other topics we’ve talked about in the past that can be beneficial to you in your situation.
It’s Time For a Change in Your Perspective..
(1:50) So, your husband is gone. How can you bring him back? First of all, understand this:
You can’t force your husband to come back.
As much as you want to and as much as you want that “right phrase,” “right word,” “right look,” or whatever it might be that will bring your husband running back to you, sadly, doesn’t exist.
Actually, the best thing you can do that can bring your husband back to you starts within yourself. Now, you might be thinking, “Oh, my gosh. I’ve heard it. I’ve heard this before. Go to the gym. Lose some weight. Then I’ll be attractive and my husband will come back to me.” That’s not it.
That’s only a smart part of it, but not even the most important part of it. In fact, it starts even before you start working on yourself physically. What I want to encourage you to think about, and to ultimately do, is to:
Change your perspective in your mind.
You see, if you only want to “do something” in order to bring your husband back..
Believe that everything will be fine once he comes back, then I want to encourage you to see things a little differently..
In fact, many times when a spouse leaves it means that something else is going on in the marriage, or maybe even outside of the marriage. Ultimately, someone’s unhappy.
Maybe it’s you..
Maybe it’s your husband..
Maybe it’s both of you..
If your only goal right now is to bring your husband back and you’re not trying to work on other things, (about your marriage, about your relationship, about you, etc.) then even if your husband came back right now it wouldn’t end in a fairy tale story. There would still be problems that could lead to another separation, and that’s not what you want. The BEST thing you can start doing is to start “working on you,” by changing your perspective.
Again, you don’t want to just “work on you” to bring your husband back. That should be a secondary goal. Your primary goal should be to “work on yourself” in order to become the best “YOU” that you can be for you!! (NOT FOR SOMEONE ELSE!)
You want to become the most attractive that you can be for you because, if not…
…and your husband doesn’t come back (or as soon as he starts coming back but then things start to get shaky) you’re going to abandon working on you. You’re just going to say, “Nope, it’s not working. I have to try something else.”
In all honesty, with all of the people I’ve worked with, all of the women I’ve seen go through this, every single one of them, said that the BEST thing that they have done when they have been separated from their husbands has been working on themselves.
That was it. Why? They knew that as long as they were working on themselves they…
…became more confident.
…had more calm emotions
…and they could better handle the chaos and craziness that was going on (whether or not their husband was calling them or not calling them, or whatever else.)
They said they had an inner peace within them that made it all worth it. It made them able to carry through no matter what was happening around them. These women became strong.
The Four Most Important Pieces of Being Attractive: The PIES!
(5:42) Now, you might be thinking, “Okay. I need to work on myself, and I understand I need to make sure I’m healthy, and eating right, and working out.” Everyone understands that part, but there’s actually FOUR ways that you can start working on yourself right now. The physical part of working on yourself is only one of them.
At Marriage Helper, we call it the PIES. You want to work on yourself physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually in order to be the best “you” that you can be.
The “P” in PIES
What does that mean? Physically, you want to get in the best shape that you can for your age and situation in life. You want to sleep right. You want to eat right. You want to move around, go for a walk, lift weights, or whatever that looks like for you. You want to dress to feel confident. Work on yourself physically.
The “I” in PIES
(6:33) The intellectual part of working on yourself is expanding your mind. You don’t want to just sit there and focus on all of the terrible things happening. For example, how your husband left and you’re worried about what he’s doing. You’re having pity parties for yourself.
You want to get your mind working in a way where it’s not consumed by all the negative things happening.
Maybe you…start a new hobby…start reading a book…or finish your college degree if that’s a goal for you. Whatever it may be, get your mind in a place where you’re not always worrying.
The “E” in PIES
(7:15) You also want to work on yourself emotionally. What does that mean? It means being the kind of person that causes people to feel emotions that they enjoy feeling.
For example, people see you as gracious, loving, a good listener, or as a good friend. You may do this for your kids, or your husband. All of these things work together in order to get to the end goal of saving your marriage.
The emotional part of working on you is the most important part that you can do.
You want to become a safe place, definitely for your husband, but also for other people in your life. Maybe that’s where you have to start right now. For example, if you have kids wanting to talk about their day, instead of saying, “I don’t have time right now,” sit down and listen to them. Don’t listen in order to to talk back to them or respond to them, but listen in order to hear. That’s a great place to start.
Ultimately, you want to have that same kind of interaction with your husband. You might be thinking,
“Well, right now he’s not talking to me at all, so how in the world could I make that happen?”
Well, if you’re focusing on you and becoming the most attractive that you can be (physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually) then, if anything works to bring your husband back to you this will.
The “S” in PIES
(8:49) S is the last letter- the spiritual aspect of attraction. What does that mean? Well, it doesn’t necessarily have to do with religion, (although if you are a religious person then that goes with this) but it means that you’re a person whose actions go with your beliefs and values.
If you say that you believe something is right-do that. You’re a person of high character that does the right thing. That is what we’re looking for.
When you are working on yourself physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually…
…you are going to become a more confident person!
Again, if anything works to bring your spouse back, this will. We call it “working on the PIES.”
Like I said before, so many people have said, “This process, working on my PIES, has been first of all the best thing I could have ever done for myself. Once I started working on my PIES, I knew that I could handle anything life would throw my way. After that being my first goal, the second part of it actually brought my husband back.”
I hear it time and time and time again.
You might be thinking, “This is never going to work. How in the world could this happen?” But I want to encourage you to try it. What’s the worst that could happen? You become the most attractive you can be? That’s not exactly a downside. I don’t really see any cons to it. Work on yourself. Work on your PIES like we call it at Marriage Helper.
Some Final Thoughts…
(10:30): Please don’t want to bash your husband on social media. Don’t bash him when you’re talking to your friends or to your family. Because, if saving your marriage is your ultimate goal, bashing him to other people may make them enemies of that goal.
I say this because people who love you are going to see how much pain you’re in; how much pain your husband has put you through. Unfortunately, because of their love for you they’re going to say, “Nope. You shouldn’t do back to him. Nope. You need to just move on.”
While they mean well, they don’t know what we know at Marriage Helper.
We know, that no matter your situation, your marriage can be saved.
Not just saved- it can be made stronger, better, and more fulfilling than ever before. You see, at Marriage Helper, we believe that people deserve to be rescued. We believe that husbands, even when they leave their wives, can be rescued and that that marriage can be saved.
We believe it can absolutely happen for you.
We’d love to tell you more about how. You can visit our website at MarriageHelper.com. You can call our team at 866-903-0990. We’ll talk to you about our coaching, workshops, and our online courses. You can also subscribe to this channel, like and comment below, and look at the other videos that we have. Whatever we can do to help you, we are here.