An incredible testimony from one of our Marriage Helper Community Members, RB:
“Today, we are reconciled for roughly 2.5 years. As I’ve heard Dr. Beam say more than once, reconciliation was like getting into the shallow end of a pool and working your way to the deep end. We did that. Each of us slowly tested the waters as reconciliation progressed. Today, we ‘tread water’ in the deep end on a regular basis. Bear in mind, this was a woman who said ‘I’m done’ repeatedly. She said, ‘I don’t want to give you false hope’ anytime we had nice conversations. She also could never ever see herself having feelings for me ever again.
If I had to go through it all over again to have the marriage I have today, I’d do it, in a heartbeat. I would do every sleepless night where I tried crying myself to sleep. Why? Because what I have today is something I never ever thought was even possible. I often say I have the marriage that I never knew I ever wanted. First and foremost, she’s my best friend. We share things with each other now that we’d never dreamed of sharing together before. We both know what the horsemen look like and how to avoid them. We both know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and how to leverage those for the better of our marriage.
Why do I share? Because I want YOU to know that there IS hope, always! Change IS possible. When you think your spouse doesn’t notice the change, believe me, they DO. When you blow it, they notice. When you own that you blew it, they notice. Consistency and time are key. PIES and SMART contact are things we should have learned in school, but it’s better late than never. It IS possible for beauty to arise from the ashes of a broken marriage and for a diamond to come out of it.”